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Area Cat Saddened by Lack of New Fluffington Post Articles

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A local cat is reportedly experiencing a sense of deep ennui over the lack of new articles in The Fluffington Post. Friends say the cat, Honey, has been moping around the house, mewling plaintively since the website stopped putting up regular updates.

“It was her favorite website,” said the cat’s friend and confidant Millicent Darby. “She subscribed to their Facebook, their Twitter, she had the t-shirt, and her litter box was decorated with printouts of her favorite stories. But a few months ago they seemed to just stop publishing abruptly.”

Industry insiders said the abrupt end to new The Fluffington Post content was a mystery. 

“No one’s really sure what’s going on,” said Poynter news analyst Walter Thibodeau. “They appeared to be well capitalized and they pretty much owned the pet satire beat, but then they disappeared.”

Editors at The Fluffington Post could not be reached for comment.

Via This_Is_Not_Butter.

Kitten Regrets Ignoring Order Not to Climb on Couch

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A case of instant regret has hit Otto, a kitten from Grand Forks, ND, who defied his mom’s order not to climb on the couch. Sources close to the situation tell The Fluffington Post that Otto was repeatedly told not to climb on the furniture, including the couch.

“He’s been in this sort of situation before, though not so dire,” said neighbor Tobias Thrush. “One time he got stuck in a fruit bowl on the dining room table, and another time he climbed up to the third level of a bookshelf and couldn’t figure out how to get down.”

Otto was discovered in the couch by his roommate at 8:21AM local time and the fire department was called. He was freed shortly after nine o’clock, and is resting comfortably (not on the couch).

Via RespectMyAuthoriteh.

Day 17: Mittens Finally Makes It to Basecamp

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According to a post to her Instagram page, intrepid explorer cat Mittens has apparently made it to basecamp alpha at the foot of the couch. She embarked on the climb from the kitchen a couple of weeks ago and has been documenting the journey on social media.

Her post read:

“Finally made it. The view is incredible. Air is thin. #basecamp #climbing #adventure #catlife #aventurecat #kittyklimb #explore #neverstopexploring #lifeisgood #views #goals #elevation #exploreclub #catswhoclimb #goforit #keepclimbing #tentlife #lovelife #inspiration #intothinair #meow #catsofinstagram #climbersofinstagram #adventuresociety #hiking #hike #getout #getlost #goexploring #amazing #keepgoing #sportoflife #tabbytime #wilderness #intothewild #livefortheweekend #awesome”

She hopes to summit the couch later this week.

Via ieatcottagecheese.

Cat Therapy Session Ends in Fisticuffs

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After months of arguments, Oscar the cat agreed to go to family therapy. He thought he’d finally be able to work through his differences with his brother and roommate, Terrence. The pair’s first session reportedly didn’t end well.

“I guess things just got too real,” said close friend Myles Tanzi. 

The two cats have been living together since July and the fighting began almost immediately.

“As soon as Terrence moved into Oscar’s pad they were at each other’s throats,” said Tanzi. “Fighting over the best sun spots, over the water dish, over crumpled wads of paper, and so on.”

Tanzi said the therapy was his idea, and he suggested it after having success working through some of his own family issues with his psychoanalyst. But the results of the first session don’t bode well for the future. The two cats got into a physical altercation during a role play about who could sit on windowsill.

“It’s a process,” he said. “I’m just not sure if Oscar will want to go back next week after the fight.” 

Via oscar_theteddybear.