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Area Cat’s New Year’s Resolution of 2560×1440 Holding Steady

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Psychologists will tell you, most New Year’s resolutions start to fade around February or March. But not for one steadfast feline. When the clock struck midnight on December 31, 2020, Marty made a commitment.

“He decided it was time for an upgrade,” says Kate Heinz, Marty’s longtime life coach. “He’s been displaying at 1080p for the last 8 years. That’s fine for most cats. It’s HD.”

But in 2021, Marty went 2K.

“That’s a 1440p resolution,” says Heinz. “Not all the way to 4K. That would be too much of a leap. As I told him: Set attainable goals.”

And so far, Marty has held on to his native 2560×1440 resolution since that fateful day.

“It’s not easy,” Heinz elaborates. “That’s a lot of pixels. But I believe in Marty, and more importantly, he believes in himself.”

via place where cat shouldn’t be

Cat Has Existential Breakdown After Learning He Is AI-Generated

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It was just another day for Muffles, an area cat who enjoys squirrel watching, scratching his favorite armchair, and CrossFit.

That idyllic life ground to a halt when he discovered a new website.

“He stepped on the keyboard by accident,” says Walter Kratt, a source close to the situation. “It must have loaded a bookmark.”

The site in question is called This Cat Does Not Exist, and it uses artificial intelligence (specifically a generative adversarial network, or “GAN”) to create incredibly realistic images of cats that don’t exist in real life.

“Muffles refreshed the site a few times and … there he was,” Kratt explained, holding back some emotions.

Looking back from the Web browser was a picture of Muffles himself, down to every fine whisker.

“He’s freaking out right now,” says Kratt, who stepped in to support Muffles at this difficult time. “I mean, I’m pretty sure he’s real. He’s right here next to me. But being generated by AI puts a lot in doubt.”

Muffles himself could not be reached for comment, but his family says he’s taking the time he needs to come to grips with a new phase of his life.

Via This Cat Does Not Exist, by way of The Verge.

Area Cat Has Serious Case of the Mondays

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There’s only one thing Millie the cat hates more than the vacuum, and that’s Monday morning.

After a long weekend spent sleeping, napping, grooming, preening, sleeping, and napping, the last thing Millie wants to do is drag herself out of bed.

“I mean, I get it, none of us like getting out of a warm bed and trudging off to work,” said roommate Carly Hutchison. “But that’s the thing: Mille is a cat. She doesn’t go to work.”

Hutchison said an average Monday for the kitty is a lot like any other day: lots of sleeping and napping packed around eating and stretching.

Still… this cat is clearly ready to go back to bed.

Via giffgaff98.

Guillermo del Toro’s Next Movie, “The Shape of Cats,” Is a Go

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Fresh off his Oscar win for “The Shape of Water,” writer/director Guillermo del Toro has reportedly secured funding for a sequel called, “The Shape of Cats.”

According to Deadline.com, del Toro has began writing the movie while making “Pacific Rim,” but decided to hold off until he felt special effects technology was up to the task of matching his vision. “The Shape of Cats” will begin shooting this summer in Georgia and distributors are already lining up to bid for it.

“Once you have an Academy Award you can pretty much do what you want,” said film critic Layla Vega. “Del Toro is hot right now, and when you marry his name to a subject as timeless as cats… lookout. This could be the biggest film of 2019.”

Via gDisasters.

Cat is Fourth Pet to Resign from White House in a Year

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Waffles the cat, who joined the White House as senior national security kitten in October, has resigned. Maggie Haberman of the New York Times broke the story overnight.

This is the fourth major pet departure from the White House in just over a year. A few months ago, Waffles replaced Whiskers, who left abruptly after reports surfaced that she had spent $24,000 on a new litter box for her office.

“Waffles was supposed to be a steadying force in the White House,” said Alan Cockrell, a senior policy fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations. “Where Whiskers had a reputation as a no-holds-barred, chase-every-laser-pointer-she-sees kind of kitty, Waffles was known to have a more of a ‘find a good sun spot an take a nap’ kind of disposition.”

His departure from the administration is unexpected, but not totally surprising. 

“Pets just haven’t lasted long in this administration,” said Cockrell. “It’s a fairly chaotic place and these cats can find better opportunities in the private sector.”

Simon & Schuster has reportedly offered Waffles a seven-figure book deal.

Via danrah.