The Fluffington Post

Your #1 source for FLUFFY ANIMALS.

Beach Resident Refuses to Give Up on Summer

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The wind blows a little cooler and the smell of pumpkin spice is in the air, but that won’t deter one little pig from catching a few more rays.

Longtime coastal resident Penn continues to hit the beach nearly every day, despite cooler waters and the onset of autumn.

“Oh I see him boogie boarding all the time,” says neighbor Brad Stetson. “Some mornings that water is freezing, but Penn doesn’t care. He just packs a wet suit.”

Most local residents have packed up their umbrellas and beach chairs for the season, but Penn simply refuses to call it quits on summer fun. Some have expressed concern that Penn will hit a rude awakening in the weeks to come, but others support the piglet’s ambition.

“Let him have it!” says Marsha Connelly of the local Chamber of Commerce. “He’s enjoying himself, and it’s great for the food truck business near the beach.”

via u/lnfinity

Late-Night Polka Parties Lure Cats, Anger Neighbors

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If there’s one thing you wouldn’t expect to hear from a quiet suburban backyard at 2am, it’s polka music. But residents on the social network NextDoor have reported late-night accordion music blasting from Miller Place.

“I woke up to such a racket,” says Jeffrey Berger, a neighborhood resident. “It sounded like someone was being murdered. So I put on pants and ran down the street.”

Those screams were nothing more than the elated cries of dancing cats, getting down to the sweet sounds of polka.

“They had hired a one-man-band to play for hours,” Berger tells The Fluffington Post. “It was the middle of the night, and there are cats dancing everywhere.”

Berger was not the only concerned resident. At least a dozen posts on NextDoor alluded to the commotion, most asking what was going on, while others more irate.

“WTF is happening on Miller?” wrote one concerned citizen. “It sounds like Weird Al is being mauled by cougars!!”

The party has since dispersed, and no attendees could be reached for comment by press time.

via u/emoposer

Take-Out Ordering Way Up Among Cats During Pandemic

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A new study released today by the National Restaurant Association finds that take-out ordering was up 437% among cats in 2020. While take-out dining was already trending up, there was an extreme spike in March of last year as pandemic-related in-feline dining closures hit.

“This mirrors what we’re seeing across other species,” said Restaurant Association spokesperson Latoya Reynolds. “We saw similarly large jumps in take-away and delivery habits among dogs, horses, and cockatiels.”

Many restaurant owners had to scramble to shift-away from on-location dining to pickup and delivery.

“We didn’t have a paw-friendly app before last year,” said Joe Montez, owner of Carribe Grill in Pasadena, CA, referring to an online ordering experience with buttons large enough to accommodate appendages that lack opposable digits. “We partnered with a local developer to revamp the user interface of our ordering site and immediately saw a jump in pet-related orders.”

Other interesting findings from the National Restaurant Association study:

  • The most popular dish among cats was Grilled Salmon followed closely by Lobster Newberg.
  • For dogs, the most popular dish ordered last year was That Thing We Dropped on the Floor. Perennial favorite Is that Bacon? It Smells Like Bacon! came in second.
  • As a group, cats tip at 25% below the national average.
  • While dogs rate “delivery speed” as the most important aspect of the take-out experience, they were 5 times more forgiving of cold food than any other animal group.

Via imKohl.

Area Pup Sees No Value in Baths, Soap

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After a weekend of muddy paws and sniffing everything on the local hiking trail, Skip was unpleasantly surprised when his mom dunked him in a huge puddle of previously invisible indoor water.

“He really did not expect that,” says Martin Kelleher, a source familiar with the situation. “Then came the soap.”

After a lot of squirming, yelping, and suds, Skip was a new pup — albeit a grumpy one.

“I get it. Did his wolf ancestors need to take baths? Of course not,” Kelleher tells The Fluffington Post. “But then again, his wolf ancestors did not own $400 shag carpets from Crate & Barrel, so…”

According to sources on the ground, Skip is currently snuggled comfortably in a pile of towels and other “miscellaneous dry laundry.” The Fluffington Post will update this story as it unfolds.

via u/sweet-101

Area Cat’s New Year’s Resolution of 2560×1440 Holding Steady

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Psychologists will tell you, most New Year’s resolutions start to fade around February or March. But not for one steadfast feline. When the clock struck midnight on December 31, 2020, Marty made a commitment.

“He decided it was time for an upgrade,” says Kate Heinz, Marty’s longtime life coach. “He’s been displaying at 1080p for the last 8 years. That’s fine for most cats. It’s HD.”

But in 2021, Marty went 2K.

“That’s a 1440p resolution,” says Heinz. “Not all the way to 4K. That would be too much of a leap. As I told him: Set attainable goals.”

And so far, Marty has held on to his native 2560×1440 resolution since that fateful day.

“It’s not easy,” Heinz elaborates. “That’s a lot of pixels. But I believe in Marty, and more importantly, he believes in himself.”

via place where cat shouldn’t be