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Area Dog Consistently Chooses the Wrong Lane at the Supermarket

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You know what it’s like: you fill up your cart with groceries, you’ve got an increasingly antsy kiddo in tow, and all you want to do is pay and get back home before the ice cream melts. So you choose the checkout lane with the shortest line, and then the person in front of you has fifteen price checks and the card reader goes down. For most of us, this is a once-in-awhile annoyance, for a local puppy named Bruno, it’s his every day life.

“It’s incredible, really, how often he picks the wrong lane,” says coworker Stephanie Sabatini. “I once saw him go into Petco on his lunch break to buy a single treat. They had two lanes open, and he picks the one that’s the completely clear instead of the one where someone is doing a return. I swear, as soon as he steps up to the counter, all hell breaks loose in grooming and his cashier is called away to help for 15 minutes. The other line must have had ten customers go through while he waited!”

Friends say Bruno takes his special “talent” in stride, always happily wagging his tail no matter how long he has to wait. But it has affected his relationships.

“Bruno is amazing guy,” says Sabatini. “Literally one of the goodest boys I know. But I would never go shopping with him again. It takes all day!”

Via Elhessar.

Local Dog Beginning to Suspect She Was Adopted

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A dog in Cedar Falls, IA has doubts that her brothers and sisters are biological, reports local news station KQVN.

“We found the story after a social media post alluding to her suspicions went viral,” says KQVN news director, Ashlee Scott. “I sent a crew out there, and sure enough, some things just don’t add up.”

The news team found a group of dogs who grew up thinking they had been adopted together from the same litter. But one dog, whose name has been withheld, didn’t seem like part of the pack.

“For one, her birth certificate has mysteriously gone missing,” says Scott. “And for another, she looks like a cat.”

The dog is still awaiting the results of DNA testing.

via Poppet and the Wolfpack

Area Pup Sees No Value in Baths, Soap

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After a weekend of muddy paws and sniffing everything on the local hiking trail, Skip was unpleasantly surprised when his mom dunked him in a huge puddle of previously invisible indoor water.

“He really did not expect that,” says Martin Kelleher, a source familiar with the situation. “Then came the soap.”

After a lot of squirming, yelping, and suds, Skip was a new pup — albeit a grumpy one.

“I get it. Did his wolf ancestors need to take baths? Of course not,” Kelleher tells The Fluffington Post. “But then again, his wolf ancestors did not own $400 shag carpets from Crate & Barrel, so…”

According to sources on the ground, Skip is currently snuggled comfortably in a pile of towels and other “miscellaneous dry laundry.” The Fluffington Post will update this story as it unfolds.

via u/sweet-101

Dog Remains Unconvinced Mystery Noise Is “House Settling”

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It happened late on Friday evening. Ned the dog was minding his own business, chewing on some Dentastix, when he heard a sudden, loud creaking noise coming from upstairs.

Sources close to the situation tell The Fluffington Post that Ned immediately jumped up and began barking hysterically.

“He was going for near on 30 minutes,” said neighbor Connor Pilcher. “I didn’t hear what set him off, on account of I live next door, but boy did I hear him bark. Just barked bloody murder for a good long time. 30 minutes at least, like I said.”

Family members were eventually able to quiet Ned, and a subsequent investigation found that the noise he heard was just the house settling. Ned isn’t convinced of that assessment.

“He’s not buying that for one minute,” said Sarah Fleuger, a lawyer speaking on behalf of the dog. “Houses don’t just ‘settle’ … this was clearly a provocation and we’re looking into our legal options. Ned suffered a significant trauma and he hasn’t be able to get comfortable on his doggie bed since.”

Via woofshark.

Puppy Seeks Zoning Variance for Oddly Sited Box Fort

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Caroline the dog finds herself in the midst of a heated zoning dispute with roommates who argue the pup’s new box fort violates several city ordinances.

According to representatives for the dog, Caroline will seek a variance from schedule of intensity requirements that mandate a two foot buffer for all units built near a stove. Roommates argue that’s not the only issue facing the dog’s oddly sited construction.

“I mean, leaving aside the fact that she doesn’t actually own the property in the kitchen that she built on – she’s a renter,” said Stella Feingold, lawyer for the roommates, “and that she didn’t pull any of the required building permits, she’s also in violation of accessory dwelling unit codes.”

According to the city’s zoning ordinance, accessory dwelling units must include a stove and bathroom inside the unit, not adjacent. 

“Also,” continued Feingold, “it’s a cardboard box. That’s not a proper building material for this sort of structure. The whole thing is a safety hazard.”

The city’s zoning board meets on Tuesday and Caroline’s case is a docketed item.

Via objectiveankles.