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Guillermo del Toro’s Next Movie, “The Shape of Cats,” Is a Go

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Fresh off his Oscar win for “The Shape of Water,” writer/director Guillermo del Toro has reportedly secured funding for a sequel called, “The Shape of Cats.”

According to Deadline.com, del Toro has began writing the movie while making “Pacific Rim,” but decided to hold off until he felt special effects technology was up to the task of matching his vision. “The Shape of Cats” will begin shooting this summer in Georgia and distributors are already lining up to bid for it.

“Once you have an Academy Award you can pretty much do what you want,” said film critic Layla Vega. “Del Toro is hot right now, and when you marry his name to a subject as timeless as cats… lookout. This could be the biggest film of 2019.”

Via gDisasters.

Cat is Fourth Pet to Resign from White House in a Year

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Waffles the cat, who joined the White House as senior national security kitten in October, has resigned. Maggie Haberman of the New York Times broke the story overnight.

This is the fourth major pet departure from the White House in just over a year. A few months ago, Waffles replaced Whiskers, who left abruptly after reports surfaced that she had spent $24,000 on a new litter box for her office.

“Waffles was supposed to be a steadying force in the White House,” said Alan Cockrell, a senior policy fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations. “Where Whiskers had a reputation as a no-holds-barred, chase-every-laser-pointer-she-sees kind of kitty, Waffles was known to have a more of a ‘find a good sun spot an take a nap’ kind of disposition.”

His departure from the administration is unexpected, but not totally surprising. 

“Pets just haven’t lasted long in this administration,” said Cockrell. “It’s a fairly chaotic place and these cats can find better opportunities in the private sector.”

Simon & Schuster has reportedly offered Waffles a seven-figure book deal.

Via danrah.

Area Cat Saddened by Lack of New Fluffington Post Articles

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A local cat is reportedly experiencing a sense of deep ennui over the lack of new articles in The Fluffington Post. Friends say the cat, Honey, has been moping around the house, mewling plaintively since the website stopped putting up regular updates.

“It was her favorite website,” said the cat’s friend and confidant Millicent Darby. “She subscribed to their Facebook, their Twitter, she had the t-shirt, and her litter box was decorated with printouts of her favorite stories. But a few months ago they seemed to just stop publishing abruptly.”

Industry insiders said the abrupt end to new The Fluffington Post content was a mystery. 

“No one’s really sure what’s going on,” said Poynter news analyst Walter Thibodeau. “They appeared to be well capitalized and they pretty much owned the pet satire beat, but then they disappeared.”

Editors at The Fluffington Post could not be reached for comment.

Via This_Is_Not_Butter.

Puppy Seeks Zoning Variance for Oddly Sited Box Fort

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Caroline the dog finds herself in the midst of a heated zoning dispute with roommates who argue the pup’s new box fort violates several city ordinances.

According to representatives for the dog, Caroline will seek a variance from schedule of intensity requirements that mandate a two foot buffer for all units built near a stove. Roommates argue that’s not the only issue facing the dog’s oddly sited construction.

“I mean, leaving aside the fact that she doesn’t actually own the property in the kitchen that she built on – she’s a renter,” said Stella Feingold, lawyer for the roommates, “and that she didn’t pull any of the required building permits, she’s also in violation of accessory dwelling unit codes.”

According to the city’s zoning ordinance, accessory dwelling units must include a stove and bathroom inside the unit, not adjacent. 

“Also,” continued Feingold, “it’s a cardboard box. That’s not a proper building material for this sort of structure. The whole thing is a safety hazard.”

The city’s zoning board meets on Tuesday and Caroline’s case is a docketed item.

Via objectiveankles.

Kitten Regrets Ignoring Order Not to Climb on Couch

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A case of instant regret has hit Otto, a kitten from Grand Forks, ND, who defied his mom’s order not to climb on the couch. Sources close to the situation tell The Fluffington Post that Otto was repeatedly told not to climb on the furniture, including the couch.

“He’s been in this sort of situation before, though not so dire,” said neighbor Tobias Thrush. “One time he got stuck in a fruit bowl on the dining room table, and another time he climbed up to the third level of a bookshelf and couldn’t figure out how to get down.”

Otto was discovered in the couch by his roommate at 8:21AM local time and the fire department was called. He was freed shortly after nine o’clock, and is resting comfortably (not on the couch).

Via RespectMyAuthoriteh.