dogs

It happened late on Friday evening. Ned the dog was minding his own business, chewing on some Dentastix, when he heard a sudden, loud creaking noise coming from upstairs.

Sources close to the situation tell The Fluffington Post that Ned immediately jumped up and began barking hysterically.

“He was going for near on 30 minutes,” said neighbor Connor Pilcher. “I didn’t hear what set him off, on account of I live next door, but boy did I hear him bark. Just barked bloody murder for a good long time. 30 minutes at least, like I said.”

Family members were eventually able to quiet Ned, and a subsequent investigation found that the noise he heard was just the house settling. Ned isn’t convinced of that assessment.

“He’s not buying that for one minute,” said Sarah Fleuger, a lawyer speaking on behalf of the dog. “Houses don’t just ‘settle’ … this was clearly a provocation and we’re looking into our legal options. Ned suffered a significant trauma and he hasn’t be able to get comfortable on his doggie bed since.”

Via woofshark.

Caroline the dog finds herself in the midst of a heated zoning dispute with roommates who argue the pup’s new box fort violates several city ordinances.

According to representatives for the dog, Caroline will seek a variance from schedule of intensity requirements that mandate a two foot buffer for all units built near a stove. Roommates argue that’s not the only issue facing the dog’s oddly sited construction.

“I mean, leaving aside the fact that she doesn’t actually own the property in the kitchen that she built on – she’s a renter,” said Stella Feingold, lawyer for the roommates, “and that she didn’t pull any of the required building permits, she’s also in violation of accessory dwelling unit codes.”

According to the city’s zoning ordinance, accessory dwelling units must include a stove and bathroom inside the unit, not adjacent. 

“Also,” continued Feingold, “it’s a cardboard box. That’s not a proper building material for this sort of structure. The whole thing is a safety hazard.”

The city’s zoning board meets on Tuesday and Caroline’s case is a docketed item.

Via objectiveankles.

Sir Patrick Stewart, one of the greatest actors of his (or any) generation, has done it again. The beloved actor’s latest film, Bark, which premieres at SXSW in Austin, TX next week, might be he toughest role yet. And it also may be his greatest performance.

Stewart stars as Rex, a down-on-his-luck puppy from the rough London neighborhood of Brixton who develops super powers. The film is already generating a lot of industry buzz.

“The man is a chameleon,” said producer Alison Jordan at a press junket ahead of the film’s premiere. “There were times he’d be sitting next to me, and I’d literally reach to scratch his belly. That’s how convincing he is.” 

According to a report in Variety, Stewart fully committed to the role of Rex. He lost 50 pounds, ate nothing but kibble and Snausages, and slept at the foot of the bed for three months during principle photography.

The film will be distributed by Universal Pictures and goes wide on May 19.

Via Findthe.

via @meanegirl__

During the company’s earnings call on Thursday, WoofCo, Inc. CEO Rocky was observed paying little attention to the public conglomerate’s financials, and instead laughing at videos in his Twitter feed.

Two WoofCo interns, who declined to be identified for fear of retribution, photographed Rocky browsing Twitter and snoozing while shareholders and media listened eagerly to the Q4 report, led by the company’s CFO, Paddington.

“These photographs have no bearing on Rocky’s unwavering commitment to WoofCo, its financial health, and corporate transparency,” said Randall Cogsworth, a PR representative for WoofCo, in a statement. “Everyone gets tired and everyone needs to blow off steam every now and then, and our leadership team is no different.”

via @rockyandbow