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Chinchilla Thrilled With Bathroom Remodel

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Chinchilla Thrilled With Bathroom Remodel

Mr. Bagel the chinchilla is reportedly extremely happy with his recent bathroom remodel.

Friends tell The Fluffington Post that the chinchilla became pretty stressed out about money after it was discovered that he had to replace some of the iron pipes in his basement with newer PVC piping. But now that the bathroom is done, he’s pleased, even though he totally blew through his budget.

“It wouldn’t have been so bad, but he was already pretty maxed out,” said longtime friend June Atwood. 

According to Atwood, Mr. Bagel had already purchased costly high end finishes for the space: gold fixtures, a large claw foot, porcelain tub, marble vanity, heated flooring. So there was very little wiggle room for unexpected costs during the renovation. 

“He got really worried when he heard about the plumbing issues,” she said. “But in the end, the space is his sanctuary. So he eats off brand food pellets for a couple of years to make up the difference. He’s fine with that.”

Via chinnybuddy.

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Guinea Pig Discovers “PiggyCam”

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Guinea Pig Discovers “PiggyCam”

by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

It was only a matter of time.

According to reports, Dexter the guinea pig has finally found the high-tech camera system installed in his cage. Sold commercially as PiggyCam, the setup allows owners and Internet users alike a rare glimpse into the piggy world.

“Yeah, that’s what the box says,” said friend Jeff Cooper. “Truth is, it’s surveillance. Guinea pigs enjoy the same fourth amendment rights that we do. The ACLU would have a field day with this one. ”

Others are less skeptical.

“I don’t see what the problem is, honestly” said Lauren Crump, Dexter’s owner. “I deserve to see all the cute and potentially incriminating things that piggy does when I’m not around – I wonder what he’s up to now.”

Crump was forced to cut our interview short when her PiggyCam Android app began to show nothing but static.

Via medguiain.

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Squirrel Squatter Evicted

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Squirrel Squatter Evicted

by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

According to sources, notorious squatter Lenny the squirrel has finally been shown the door. His latest victim tells The Fluffington Post that the eviction was a long time coming.

“He showed up one day looking for a place to stay,” says Phil Suarez. “I couldn’t really say no. He was cute and his tail was really fluffy. The $900 a month rent seemed agreeable to him.”

Unfortunately for Suarez, Lenny would soon prove to be one of the worst roommates ever.

“He basically just sat on the couch and ate nuts all day,” says the longtime Astoria, Queens resident. “Oh yeah, and he didn’t pay rent. That was kind of the kicker. I decided to do some digging, and apparently he’d been doing this for years. I had to tell him we were through.”

Lenny was reportedly cooperative, albeit irritated. 

“I guess he didn’t like me interrupting his ‘Dr. Who’ marathon,” says Suarez. “But he knew what was coming. He packed his tiny suitcase and was out the door without without much fanfare. I just hope the next guy has better foresight.”

Via Furburg1.

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Prairie Dog First Date Ends in Embarrassment

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Prairie Dog First Date Ends in Embarrassment

by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

Frank was never one for romance – that is, until he met Leila.

“He’s a bit of a workaholic, and it’s just him in his burrow right now,” says Ryan Bing, a friend. “It took some prodding, but he finally fired up his old OkCupid account a few weeks ago. They randomly just started chatting.”

The two hit it off so well that they decided to meet last Friday.

“Frank was a bit apprehensive, but they ended up having a really nice time,” says Bing. “He took her to dinner at this new Thai fusion place, and then they went up to the lookout point to check out the stars.”

The evening had gone off without a hitch – until the time came for the pair to say goodnight.

“He went in for the kiss, and apparently she was just going for a hug,” says Bing. “They bonked heads, and is was really embarrassing – he could barely muster a ‘bye.’ He’s a bit down right now, but he’ll get back on the horse – or whatever the appropriate prairie dog saying is.”

Via John Morris.

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Hamster Boosts Producivity With ‘Yes’ Button

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Hamster Boosts Producivity With ‘Yes’ Button

by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

As any procrastinator knows, even the simplest project can be delayed by indecisiveness. Knowing that full well, Carl the hamster tries to make things easier by investing in a “yes” button.

“It’s literally just a button that says ‘yes,’” says Paul Brandt, a friend. “He keeps it at his desk, and looks at it when he’s not sure about doing something. It’s really made all the difference.”

Indeed, Carl is now more productive than ever.

“I haven’t sen him on his wheel in weeks,” says Brandt. “I think he realized that it was only slowing him down, as ironic as that is. He’s written five blog posts, two short stories and a third of a screenplay – and that was just last week.”

Things have picked up so much for Carl, he’s now considering the unthinkable.

“He told me he wants to delete his Facebook,” says Brandt. “I don’t think he’s going to – at least, I hope he doesn’t. He’s already making me look bad.”

Via Phyllis Buchanan.

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