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Area Dog Literally Runs on Dunkin’

June 24, 2015 · Leave a Comment

Tinkerbelle has had a sweet tooth for some time, but when a Dunkin’ Donuts finally opened around the corner from her apartment, the Long Island pup knew she was in for trouble.

“I see her in there at least three times a week,” says Doris Everley, a neighbor. “She usually comes out with two glazed and a bag of munchkins.”

Next stop is her front stoop, where she savors the morning (and the frosting) with each bite.

“Well it’s certainly made my job a lot harder,” says Kyle Caldwell, Tinkerbelle’s personal trainer. “She’s gained three or four ounces since she started these bad habits. She’s going to need to do a lot more walkies if she wants to keep her girlish figure.”

Submitted by Tinkerbelle The Dog.

Tagged With: animals, cute, dogs, puppies, submissions

Chicago Pup Forgot It’s Still 40 Degrees Out

April 13, 2015 · Leave a Comment

Multiple eye-witnesses report an 11-year-old Chicago native named Siggy left the house dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses, headed for the pool.

“Poor guy must be suffering from EWD,” says Dr. Christopher Luvits, referring the Elongated Winter Disorientation, which affects 1 out of 70 pups in the Midwest U.S.

Symptoms include jumping the gun on summer activities way before the weather accommodates them.

“It’s going to be 40 degrees here for at least another three months,” says Dr. Luvits. “He should be able to re-calibrate quickly. It happens to the best of us.”

Submitted by Sara Wenokur. 

Tagged With: animals, cute, dogs, puppies, submissions

Critics Pan Dog’s 4th Rap Album

April 8, 2015 · Leave a Comment

image

Hip-hop fans have eagerly awaited the upcomming album from Milkbone Thugg (a.k.a. Luca) for nearly two years. But the fourth release from the young rap star has left critics disappointed.

“The beats are OK, but the lyrics and themes are really cliche,” says Walt English, senior music editor at PupSpin Magazine, an authority on canine music trends. “There’s a lot of snarling and chomping on the record, which is fine for a young artist’s debut release, but I expected more from Thugg given the sophistication of his previous work. I mean, what is this, 1997?”

Submitted by Patty La Bella.

Tagged With: animals, cute, dogs, puppies, submissions

Local Cat Gets ‘Catfished’ on Tinder

March 23, 2015 · Leave a Comment

Local Cat Gets ‘Catfished’ on Tinder

Lucy hasn’t had much dating luck since her messy divorce in 2013.

“I thought it was time for her to get back out there,” says Fran Kiebler, a close friend of the cat. “I encouraged her to try Tinder. What’s the worst that could go wrong?”

The mobile dating app lets singles quickly swipe through profiles and notifies users when there’s mutual interest.

“She connected with a really handsome kitty named Bruce,” says Kiebler. “He seemed so legit – a good job in digital ad sales, a cute little bio about his mom. They even shared an interest in kayaking.”

Turns out it was just a stock photo of a cat model. The actual user was a wide-eyed mantelpiece named Arnie.

“They still went out, which I thought was kind of weird,” says Kiebler. “But, they seemed to hit it off, despite that their entire relationship is based on a lie.”

Submitted by _______.

Tagged With: animals, cats, cute, kitties, submissions

Spring Is Imminent According to Puppy Report

March 18, 2015 · Leave a Comment

Spring Is Imminent According to Puppy Report

A meeting of the International Canine Committee on Climate (ICCC) has released its latest scent survey and the outlook is promising.

“The report gathers the scent trails of puppies in 10 different climate zones on five continents, and the findings are pretty conclusive,” says Robert Murango, a spokesperson for the organization. “Spring is coming.”

The 237 page document gathers smell data on pollen, leaves, roots and bird activity, all meticulously logged by the puppy volunteers and analyzed by experts back at the ICCC.

“I mean, it would probably be easier to just look at the calendar, but we like to be as comprehensive as possible,” says Murango. “Plus, the puppies are really cute.”

Oky, submitted by Etienne Kiefer.

Tagged With: animals, cute, dogs, puppies, submissions

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