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Tinkerbelle has had a sweet tooth for some time, but when a Dunkin’ Donuts finally opened around the corner from her apartment, the Long Island pup knew she was in for trouble.

“I see her in there at least three times a week,” says Doris Everley, a neighbor. “She usually comes out with two glazed and a bag of munchkins.”

Next stop is her front stoop, where she savors the morning (and the frosting) with each bite.

“Well it’s certainly made my job a lot harder,” says Kyle Caldwell, Tinkerbelle’s personal trainer. “She’s gained three or four ounces since she started these bad habits. She’s going to need to do a lot more walkies if she wants to keep her girlish figure.”

Multiple eye-witnesses report an 11-year-old Chicago native named Siggy left the house dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses, headed for the pool.

“Poor guy must be suffering from EWD,” says Dr. Christopher Luvits, referring the Elongated Winter Disorientation, which affects 1 out of 70 pups in the Midwest U.S.

Symptoms include jumping the gun on summer activities way before the weather accommodates them.

“It’s going to be 40 degrees here for at least another three months,” says Dr. Luvits. “He should be able to re-calibrate quickly. It happens to the best of us.”

Submitted by Sara Wenokur. 

Hip-hop fans have eagerly awaited the upcomming album from Milkbone Thugg (a.k.a. Luca) for nearly two years. But the fourth release from the young rap star has left critics disappointed.

“The beats are OK, but the lyrics and themes are really cliche,” says Walt English, senior music editor at PupSpin Magazine, an authority on canine music trends. “There’s a lot of snarling and chomping on the record, which is fine for a young artist’s debut release, but I expected more from Thugg given the sophistication of his previous work. I mean, what is this, 1997?”

Submitted by Patty La Bella.