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Local Dog’s Diving License Suspended

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Local Dog’s Diving License Suspended

An area pooch had his driver’s license suspended after authorities realized he was a dog.  The pup, named Archibald, obtained his operator’s license from the Department of Motor Vehicles a month ago with a near perfect score of 99 on the written test and a passing grade of 85 on the driving test.  At a routine traffic stop this week, police officers realized that Archie is a dog and suspended his license under the grounds that he “isn’t human.”

“This is ridiculous,” said longtime friend Jody Lizardi.  "Archie passed all the tests and no one said a thing.  I mean, if they don’t want non-humans to drive, why put a box for ‘Species’ on the application?“

Via nvest21.

Kitten Cited for Cliché String Playing

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Kitten Cited for Cliché String Playing

After the county passed a “no clichés” ordinance last Spring, many local policy analysts called the measure “unnecessary” and “a waste of time.”  The general consensus was that so-called “public displays of cliché behavior” were too few and far in between for a law on the books.

Now a local kitten has been cited for the first violation of the county ordinance.  Oscar the kitty was reportedly caught in public playing with string in a manner that police called “extremely expected.”  

Oscar’s lack of creativity will likely cost him the maximum $130 fine allowed under the ordinance.

Via toby-won-kenobi. 

Horse Caught Trying to Sneak Into R-Rated Movies

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Horse Caught Trying to Sneak Into R-Rated Movies

A two year-old colt named Samsonite was kicked out of the local cineplex on Friday evening after employees found him trying to sneak into an R-rated movie.  The horse had apparently bought a ticket to see PG-rated ParaNorman, but at the last moment tried to sneak into adult comedy Ted.

“I think he thought we wouldn’t notice since Ted has been here a few weeks,” said theater manager Melissa LaPalme.  "He was pretty embarrassed when we had to call his parents to pick him up.  I don’t think he’ll be trying a stunt like that again.“

Via PilotGirl.