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Horse Caught Trying to Sneak Into R-Rated Movies

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Horse Caught Trying to Sneak Into R-Rated Movies

A two year-old colt named Samsonite was kicked out of the local cineplex on Friday evening after employees found him trying to sneak into an R-rated movie.  The horse had apparently bought a ticket to see PG-rated ParaNorman, but at the last moment tried to sneak into adult comedy Ted.

“I think he thought we wouldn’t notice since Ted has been here a few weeks,” said theater manager Melissa LaPalme.  "He was pretty embarrassed when we had to call his parents to pick him up.  I don’t think he’ll be trying a stunt like that again.“

Via PilotGirl.

SCIENTISTS: Goats Likely Not Planning World Takeover

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SCIENTISTS: Goats Likely Not Planning World Takeover

According to a new study from the University of Florida, goats are not believed to be planning any sort of global uprising.  "At least not in the next decade,“ says lead researcher Dr. Anton Willis.  "The goat communication networks are just far too underdeveloped for any sort of massive organization.  It’ll be at least 10 years before they’re able to come together on the scale necessary to foment any sort of worldwide rebellion.  But they’re up to something.  Count on that.”

That’s good news for farmers who had been fearing a goat revolution and will now have years to plan.  The Fluffington Post could not, however, find any farmers who actually had that concern.

Via Tc Morgan.

Goat Shocked Kristen Stewart Cheated on Robert Pattinson

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Goat Shocked Kristen Stewart Cheated on Robert Pattinson

An area goat is still in a mild state of shock this evening after learning that the relationship between Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson may be over.  

“He was a little behind on his gossip news,” said friend Jodie Birkeland, “so it was quite a shock when he loaded up E! Online this morning and saw reports that Stewart had cheated on Pattinson.”

Birkeland confirms that the goat had firmly been in the Team Jacob camp, but in light of this news he is seriously considering switching to Team Edward as a show of support for Pattinson.

Via Tambako the Jaguar.