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Cat Cop Schools Kittens on Dangers of Catnip

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Cat Cop Schools Kittens on Dangers of Catnip

By mirandate, FluffPo Correspondent

PORTLAND, OR – Officer George O’Tabby, a local officer in the CARE (Catnip Abuse Rejection Education) Program, is offering a free screening of the film Catnip: Egress to Oblivion? Wednesday night at 8 p.m. under the couch. The film is designed to educate young kittens on the dangers of catnip excess and prevent kitten participation in cat gangs. 

While critics of the CARE program point out that it presents mistruths and distortions about catnip to young kittens, a source close to Officer O’Tabby stated “Despite the CARE program’s flaws, O’Tabby enjoys mentoring kittens and washing their faces. They are warm and snuggly – wait, that makes him sound kind of dirty. Forget I said that. Are you recording this?”

Officer O’Tabby’s precinct captain hastened to confirm that his ethics record is spotless, though not free of stripes. However, the captain declined to comment on rumors regarding a catnip stash in O’Tabby’s cap and nightstick.

Via Pawesome.

Dog’s Cleaning Service Sees Uptick In New Clients

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Dog’s Cleaning Service Sees Uptick In New Clients

Canine Cleaners, Inc. landed four new clients this week after a glowing review of its services was posted to AngiesList on Sunday.

“I’ve used them three times this year alone,” says Jenny Kramer, a satisfied customer. “They have a great attention to detail, especially the owner, Blue. I’ve never seen my floors so shiny.”

Via amiker7709.

Local Pug Too Young to Date, Say Adoptive Parents

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Local Pug Too Young to Date, Say Adoptive Parents

Little Belle the pug was adopted by her family just over a year ago on her first birthday. Now two, the pug is beginning to grow up. But even though she’s older, she’s still too young to date, say her parents.

“Look, I know she has a huge crush on this Akita in her class, but Belle is just not old enough for dating,” said Carol Kessler, who adopted the the dog last year. “Maybe when she’s three, but two is too young. End of discussion.”

We’re told that Belle has locked herself in her room and is listening to nothing but Dashboard Confessional.

Via zane.hollingsworth.

REPORT: Prairie Dogs Are Lousy Secret Keepers

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REPORT: Prairie Dogs Are Lousy Secret Keepers

According to new research from Pepperdine University, prairie dogs are among the worst at keeping secrets in the entire animal kingdom. The species topped the list of most loose-lipped animals.

“Prairie dogs are loquacious by nature,” said study author Dr. Greg Papprikash. “They love to gossip and they can’t help trading juicy bits of information.  As a result, they’re really crummy at keeping confidences.”

Also in the top five: whales, moths, polecats and arctic puffins.

Via Lance and Erin.