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Area Cats Reject Reality, Live in Fantasy World

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Area Cats Reject Reality, Live in Fantasy World

A pair of local cats, Dora the tuxedo and Luna the tabby, have declared their basement the “Barony of Fluff,” and are refusing to speak to anyone who doesn’t recognize the made-up kingdom.

“It’s lunacy,” said Susan Wolpert, who lets the basement to the kitties. “They owe me two months rent, but now they’re claiming that I owe them because of some archaic, feudal land-grant system they’ve set up.”

The two cats have reportedly built a fortress out of old cardboard boxes and are preparing for a long siege.

Via little_friends.

Dog Makes Fortune in Kitten Supply Chain Logistics

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Dog Makes Fortune in Kitten Supply Chain Logistics

It may not be the most glamorous job, but someone’s got to move kitten freight around the world efficiently, and according to a number of inside sources, the profession is lucrative.

Co-workers of a dog named Stella tell The Fluffington Post that the canine easily pulls down a six figure salary, thanks to her unique ability to optimize kitten supply chain logistics.

“She streamlined the whole cargo transfer operation,” says Ron Keller, who runs freight intake at a warehouse that benefits from Stella’s proprietary systems. “Kittens come in, we load them onto trucks, ship them right out to loving homes. No middle man, no delays, no overages.”

Keller explains that before Stella came on, it would often take them twice as long to package feline freight. “It’s so much more efficient now, and we pass the savings on to the customer. Everybody wins.”

Via Ask_Me_If_Im_Racist.

Kitten’s Escape Thwarted by Paralyzing Fear of Outside

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Kitten’s Escape Thwarted by Paralyzing Fear of Outside

A local kitten’s daring escape was thwarted earlier today by what appears to have been a paralyzing fear of the outside. Once Henry the cat had cleared the front door, witnesses say his eyes grew very wide and he became very still.

“Then a twig snapped,” recounted on witness, “and he bolted under the front steps.”

It took authorities and crisis counselors two hours two hours to coax Henry from his hiding place, but he is now safe at home, resting with his family.

Via Paolo Margari.