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Kittens Fall Victim to Photoshop Attack

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Kittens Fall Victim to Photoshop Attack

Kittens Huey and Sammy of Chapel Hill, NC are in cringe-worthy condition after a brutal Photoshop attack late Tuesday night.

“They were just hanging around, minding their own business, when out of the blue, they start appearing in these wacky and unnatural situations,” says Megan Green, who witnessed the incident first-hand. “Huey was dunking basketballs, Sammy bought an ice cream parlor – I mean, it made no sense!”

Chapel Hill police have a few leads, but at this time, the perpetrator remains at large.

Submitted by Hannah Shaw.

Town Council Nixes Black Bear Playground Expansion

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Town Council Nixes Black Bear Playground Expansion

Much to the chagrin of the area black bear population, the town council voted 5-4 against plans to expand the local bear cub playground.  Had the measure passed, the town would have been obligated to seek $2.4 million in municipal bonds via ballot measure this November to finance a playground renovation.

“It’s an outrage,” said one concerned citizen.  "That playground is a mess and I don’t think those cubs can bear it any longer.  No wait… that pun was terrible. Can you not print that?“

The vote was very much along party lines.

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)

Hamster Home Ownership Finally In Reach

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Hamster Home Ownership Finally In Reach

A new study from the Federal Housing Administration finds that for the first time in the history of the administration, home ownership is realistic goal for a majority of the hamster population.  New numbers indicate that because house prices have fallen so dramatically over the last three years, while hamster unemployment has stayed at a relatively low 5.6%, more hamsters are purchasing instead of renting.  

“It’s a confluence of things,” says FHA researcher Barry Tompkins.  "The hamster-based energy field is a growth area, meaning more high-paying jobs, coupled with low home prices and generous FHA interest rates for first-time home buyers.“

According to the study, a full 55% of hamsters will be home owners by the year 2015.

Via BrianWulfricPercival.