Cat Cop Schools Kittens on Dangers of Catnip

Cat Cop Schools Kittens on Dangers of Catnip

By mirandate, FluffPo Correspondent

PORTLAND, OR – Officer George O’Tabby, a local officer in the CARE (Catnip Abuse Rejection Education) Program, is offering a free screening of the film Catnip: Egress to Oblivion? Wednesday night at 8 p.m. under the couch. The film is designed to educate young kittens on the dangers of catnip excess and prevent kitten participation in cat gangs. 

While critics of the CARE program point out that it presents mistruths and distortions about catnip to young kittens, a source close to Officer O’Tabby stated “Despite the CARE program’s flaws, O’Tabby enjoys mentoring kittens and washing their faces. They are warm and snuggly – wait, that makes him sound kind of dirty. Forget I said that. Are you recording this?”

Officer O’Tabby’s precinct captain hastened to confirm that his ethics record is spotless, though not free of stripes. However, the captain declined to comment on rumors regarding a catnip stash in O’Tabby’s cap and nightstick.

Via Pawesome.