hamsters

Hamster Wins Xbox Tournament

Microsoft isn’t the only big winner in the world of Xbox this past week. The company announced record revenue on Thursday, in large part fueled by robust sales of its Xbox One and Xbox 360 entertainment consoles.

But the real big winner in Xbox world this week may be Grizz the hamster (gamertag: Hambone37). Grizz won a huge Halo: Spartan Assault tournament, sponsored by Mountain Dew. 

And that’s just the latest achievement in a month full of them. 

“He’s on fire recently,” said Brigit Thomas (gamertag: Sunshine Brigade). “Hambone has been untouchable. It’s really been unprecedented.”

All told, Grizz has won seven tournaments since the start of the year, and taken home winnings totally $47,500 (though much of that is the 2014 Toyota Tundra he won at a tournament in Las Vegas during CES).

Via stefano_1507.

PHOTO OP: Handful of Hamster

Via puffypudge.

Hamster Caught Cheating at Maze

When Igor the hamster finished the box maze with a record time of 2 minutes, 35 seconds, it was celebrated as a once-in-a-lifetime achievement. But this is the age of HD television: nothing goes unnoticed.

It didn’t take long for members of the media to start questioning the hamster’s result. Did he utilize a shortcut? Illegal equipment? Was he juicing?

After carefully reviewing footage from the 10 cameras placed strategically around the maze, it was clear: Igor cheated. He went up and over the wall at turn seven, allowing him to shave a full minute off his score and easily smash the previous course record.

Officials say Igor’s time will be removed from the record books. The hamster could not be reached for comment.

Via psychokuukie.

Hamsters Cast in ‘Blues Brothers’ Reboot

If there’s one thing Hollywood loves, it’s a good, high-profile reboot. Variety is reporting that hamsters Buttons and Scratch have been cast in the upcoming, Sam Riami-helmed reboot of The Blues Brothers.

The hamsters, who cut their teeth at Second City in Chicago, and also spent time last year at UCB in New York, are being touted as a brilliant combo to reprise the rolls made famous by Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi.

“If the decision to hire action impresario Riami as director was thought odd in Hollywood circles,” wrote Variety reporter Anna Pitasco, “the choice of Buttons and Scratch more than makes up for it. They bring serious funny to the production.”

The movie is expected to start filming later this year in Los Angels, Las Vegas, Vancouver and Chicago.

Via sonitan_oneisan.

Hamster Is Plotting Something, We’re Sure of It

Noctus the hamster is up to no good. The Fluffington Post can report with 95% certainty that the rodent is planning something.

We’re not sure what it is, but just look at him. Those intense, beady little eyes, the way he’s rubbing his hands together menacingly. Oh yes, he’s up to something.

Mark our words.

Via aleqto.