hamsters

Neighbors Complain About Hamster House

Police have responded to noise complaints at the home of one JC the hamster seven times in the past two weeks and have issued him four citations for disturbing the piece.

Other residents of Baker Street, where the hamster resides, describe the small rodent as easy going.

“He was never a problem until these past couple of weeks,” said one neighbor, Alan Fleischmann. “I know he’s a hamster, but he was always quiet as a mouse.”

Then JC got a wheel.

“That damn wheel,” said Mary Blevins, who lives next door. “He’s always on that goddamn wheel. Squeak, squeak, squeak. It never stops.”

Police indicated that JC has agreed to try WD-40, but if that doesn’t work, they’ll be forced to confiscate the wheel.

Via jczhamster.

Hamsters Find Lasting Love on Tinder

The much-maligned mobile dating app Tinder isn’t all superficial judgement and random hookups. There are a handful of success stories like that of Mike and Abigail – two hamsters who found a real connection.

“Abigail was just swiping through a bunch of losers last weekend,” says Hannah Pohl, a girlfriend of the love-struck rodent. “Then she spotted Mike’s profile. What a hunk!”

She indicated her interest, and before she knew it, the couple was taking a romantic walk around the living room in a giant plastic sphere.

“They hit it off right away,” says Pohl. “They’re even talking about moving in together.”

Via blazeum.

Hamster Gives Up on New Year’s Resolution

Just three months into 2014, a local hamster named Phillip has abandoned his New Year’s resolution to get off the couch and get fit.

“He struggles with willpower sometimes,” says Mary Cambridge, a friend of the unmotivated rodent. “It’s like, why would he expend all that energy running around in a transparent ball when there are 9 seasons of X-Files to watch on Netflix?”

The bags of sunflower seeds in Phillip’s pantry aren’t helping either, according to sources close to the situation.

Via angela713.

PHOTO OP: Little Hamster, Big World

Via k.s.h. photography.

Hamster Rests After Successful Art Opening

Keller the hamster celebrated a successful gallery show in New York City yesterday by taking a well deserved nap. The artist had a frantic week leading up to his first big show and slept little, said friends, but all that stress was worth it.

“He sold six paintings and scored two commissions,” said gallery owner Bailey Stanton.

The show also drew rave reviews from art critics at New York Magazine, The New York Times, and The Village Voice. Keller is currently planning a second show later this year in Los Angeles.

Via kelllellle.