PHOTO OP: So I Says to Mabel, I Says…
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Dog Builds Hobbit Hole
Dog Builds Hobbit Hole
by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent
Jake the dog was always a Lord of the Rings fan, and now, he has his own little piece of Middle Earth. The pup recently completed work on a hobbit hole, modeled after the distinctive dwellings in J.R.R. Tolkien’s tales. The finished product looks like something straight out of the Shire… more or less.
“I don’t remember hobbit holes being described as ‘plastic,’” says Brian Moss, a friend. “He also could have dug into the ground a bit more. Still, it’s a pretty decent approximation. For a dog.”
Jake is now reported to be planning an even more ambitious project.
"He’s going to make a doggy Minas Tirith,“ says Moss. "The blueprints look impressive, but I’m not sure how he’s going to pull it off. He may have to subcontract out."
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Dog Country Singer to Tour U.S.
Dog Country Singer to Tour U.S.
by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent
To outsiders, Grace the dog seems little more than a gimmick – but to true fans of country music, she’s the real deal.
“You talk about the all-time greats – Hank Williams, Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard – Grace is right up there,” says Billy Norman, editor-in-chief of Country Time magazine. “Sure, her songs don’t make much sense, but she’s a dog. No one expected they would.”
The pup has proven so popular that she’s now set to embark on a nationwide tour. Most dates have already sold out.
“She’s going to start out in Boston and finish up in Nashville,” says Norman. “That’s also where the largest Petco happens to be. I’m going to say they planned that one ahead of time.”
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Panda Safe After High-Stakes Tree Rescue
Panda Safe After High-Stakes Tree Rescue
by Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent
According to sources, Ming the panda is safe on the ground this morning after becoming trapped in a tire swing at least three feet from the ground. Witnesses tell The Fluffington Post that her brother, Bao Lao, quickly assessed the situation and sprung into action.
“She’s in that tire swing all the time,” says Richard Beck. “I knew she was eventually going to get stuck in it. It’s a good thing Bao Lao was around, because I definitely wasn’t going up there.”
The three-year-old panda was shaken, but quickly returned to her normal panda activities.
“She went to sleep,” says Beck. “I don’t blame her, though – I’d be exhausted too if that happened to me.”
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Polar Bear Cubs at Odds Over ‘Who Pushed First’
Polar Bear Cubs at Odds Over ‘Who Pushed First’
By Anna Washenko, FluffPo Correspondent
An ongoing fight within the polar bear clan at Ouwehand Zoo in the Netherlands has escalated into a shoving match. The two cubs involved have exchanged heated barbs over who pushed first. It’s unclear what the initial argument that led to to the pushing was about.
According to sources familiar with the matter, Snowball insists that his sister Snowflake was the instigator, Snowflake has denied that allegation and places the blame on her brother.
“I saw it happen,” zookeeper Lars Kjellman, an eyewitness to the alleged first push, said. “I definitely saw one of the cubs push the other one. But from the other side of the enclosure, I couldn’t tell which one did it. They look identical from that distance.”
Kjellman said spats between the cubs are not uncommon.
“There was the time Snowball made a face at his sister,” he said. “Then the day that Snowflake was touching her brother. And don’t even get me started on when they couldn’t share the last trout at dessert last month.”
Huggies, the cubs’ mother, has has been called in as a mediator.
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