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Dog and Cat Host Awkward Dinner Party

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Dog and Cat Host Awkward Dinner Party

Phil and Daisy, a dog and cat from Canton, OH, are known for their parties.  The pair throw extravagant barbecues and dinner parties throughout the year, including a now-legendary gathering for Halloween.  But last week’s dinner missed the mark.

“It was clear from the get-go that something was amiss,” said Faruq Ahmad, a guest at the party.

According to Ahmad and others, Phil and Daisy would barely look at one another during dinner, and Daisy kept making passive agressive meows at Phil’s expense.  "It was awkward,“ confirms Ahmad.  "The food was still fantastic, but by dessert, I think we all just wanted to get out of there.”

No word on what caused the riff between the cat and dog pals, or if they’ve mended fences in time for tomorrow’s big 4th of July block party.

Via RobotTesla.

Puppy Cancels Gym Membership in Favor of ‘Walkies’

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Puppy Cancels Gym Membership in Favor of ‘Walkies’

Sources inside a Bally Total Fitness tell The Fluffington Post that a puppy named Coco has closed her membership there, claiming she gets plenty of exercise by going on walks.

“We were really disappointed to see her go,” says Reggie Kalb, the gym’s manager. “But if she’s staying fit just with walkies, then more power to her.”

Via ren_ren.

Area Pup Lands Job as Plate Cleaner

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Area Pup Lands Job as Plate Cleaner

One of the fastest growing job segments in the food service industry for dogs is prep washer.  According to job search site Simply Hired, there are over 500 prep washer job open across the United States, with the most active cities being Chicago, New York and Los Angeles.

“The pre-wash that Milo gives our plates and flatware saves me time and money,” said Lisa Andruzzi, chef-owner Il Fortuna in the Gramercy Park neighborhood of Manhattan.  "Milo has cut our water bill in half and we only have to use a 30 minute wash cycle instead of a 45 to get sparkling dishes.  It’s well worth worth we’re paying him, which is mostly table scraps.“

Via nerdythrwaway.

Canine Physicists Close in on Elusive ‘Dog Particle’

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Canine Physicists Close in on Elusive ‘Dog Particle’

The furry team of theoretical physicists that famously rejected the existence of the Higgs Boson particle have published new research claiming they are closer than ever to unlocking the origins of the universe.

“Their methodology differs substantially from that conducted at CERN,” explains Darren Pick, a writer who covers physics for Scientific American. “While the Large Hadron Collider smashes atoms together at high speeds, the dogs mostly waddle around and try to sniff out the best protons and neutrinos.”

Their findings point to what they have dubbed “The Dog Particle” – a primordial subatomic mass shaped like a milk bone.

“A wonderful, delicious milk bone,” says Pick, reading from the dogs’ paper.

It has yet to undergo peer review.

Via The Giant Vermin.

Local Dog Meets Idol

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Local Dog Meets Idol

A local dog named Murphy was overjoyed on Monday when he finally met his boyhood idol, McGruff the Crime Dog.

“This was a seminal moment for Murphy,” said longtime friend Avis Long. “He’s been a huge fan of McGruff for years.  He could barely contain himself.”

According to Long, McGruff was making a scheduled stop in the area to speak to a local neighborhood watch.  Friends of Murphy arranged for the meeting as a surprise, initially telling the pup that they were going shopping for a new flea collar.

Via singingcynic.