contributors

Feline Pick­-Up Artist Shares Romantic Insights on New Blog

By Anna Washenko, FluffPo Correspondent

Are you having trouble meeting that special someone? Do you get so nervous on dates that you forget how to talk? If so, then you need the help of renowned pick­-up artist Whiskers, who just launched a new blog to talk about his romantic escapades.

Whiskers, who claims to have perfected the ultimate dating technique, will be sharing a mix of personal anecdotes and professional advice.

“It was amazing,” protege Elliot Grishom said, who attended one of Whiskers’ in-­person seminars. “Every single woman he meets falls head over heels. Within five minutes they’re rubbing his belly and scratching under his chin. He’s a master.”

Via Ray Dumas.

Home Theater Setup Proves Too Much for Local Cat

By Anna Washenko, FluffPo Correspondent

San Diego kitten Gingersnap considers himself quite the cinephile. Not only does he host regular movie nights for his fellow film buffs, but he also writes a blog for one of the local papers about the latest shows he’s seen.

Friends close to Gingersnap say his lifelong dream has been to have a top-­of­the­-line home theater system. After years of saving, he’s finally ready to make that dream a reality. Unfortunately, while Gingersnap does have extensive knowledge of film, he appears to have no understanding of how to set up his new technology.

Neighbor Lisa Wilkinson told The Fluffington Post that she had popped by to see if she could lend a hand, but quickly retreated after seeing how frustrated Gingersnap had become.

“There were wires everywhere, and he was a little orange whirlwind trying different combinations of red and black wires, but nothing was working. He was really agitated and hissing, so I let him be.” Wilkinson paused, then whispered, “I think he forgot to plug in the power cable.”

Via gigijin.

Cat Quits Day Job to Run Etsy Store

By mirandate, FluffPo Correspondent

College Station, TX – Henry, a local cat, originally started listing his paw-made toys on Etsy in 2011, hoping only to spread some catnip and make a few bucks. But as of Friday, he was able to quit his job as an accountant and launch a full-time Etsy career.

Kurt Marcucci, a source close to the situation, said “At first, I was skeptical of his career choice and a little worried. Not only are taxes a nightmare for the self-employed, but since Henry has no thumbs, I thought it would take him forever to make enough of those toys to pay his bills. But he’s surprised me. All of his site feedback is positive and I wish him the best of luck.”

At press time, Henry was seen testing the latest batch of toys to be certain they met his strict quality criteria.

Via emberizine.