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Guinea Pig Gets Pilot’s License, Starts Charter Business

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Simba, a guinea pig from Forest Hills, NJ, fulfilled a lifelong dream last week when he aced his pilot’s exam. The piggy has also secured funding to launch a charter service.

The service, which operates out of Teterboro Airport, flies internationally on a modified Barbie Edition Boeing 727.

“It’s a bit dated,” said aviation expert Jane Ciabattari. “But Simba’s really tricked out the interior, and it’s super roomy. He can still charge top dollar and attract high profile clients, even if the plane itself is an older model.”

His first client is Roc-a-Chilla, Jay-Z’s pet chinchilla.

Via simbagramsf.

Chicago Pup Forgot It’s Still 40 Degrees Out

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Multiple eye-witnesses report an 11-year-old Chicago native named Siggy left the house dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses, headed for the pool.

“Poor guy must be suffering from EWD,” says Dr. Christopher Luvits, referring the Elongated Winter Disorientation, which affects 1 out of 70 pups in the Midwest U.S.

Symptoms include jumping the gun on summer activities way before the weather accommodates them.

“It’s going to be 40 degrees here for at least another three months,” says Dr. Luvits. “He should be able to re-calibrate quickly. It happens to the best of us.”

Submitted by Sara Wenokur. 

Critics Pan Dog’s 4th Rap Album

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Hip-hop fans have eagerly awaited the upcomming album from Milkbone Thugg (a.k.a. Luca) for nearly two years. But the fourth release from the young rap star has left critics disappointed.

“The beats are OK, but the lyrics and themes are really cliche,” says Walt English, senior music editor at PupSpin Magazine, an authority on canine music trends. “There’s a lot of snarling and chomping on the record, which is fine for a young artist’s debut release, but I expected more from Thugg given the sophistication of his previous work. I mean, what is this, 1997?”

Submitted by Patty La Bella.