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Cat Will Upgrade to New iPad

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Cat Will Upgrade to New iPad

Chuckie, a cat from Binghamton, NY, is fed up with his first-generation iPad.

“It’s getting very slow, it doesn’t have a camera, and no retina display,” says Fran Newman, Chuckie’s friend and biggest technology advocate. “I mean honestly, how is he supposed to play Fruit Ninja on a Cortex-A8 processor?”

Chuckie is reportedly considering the 128 GB iPad, announced by Apple on Tuesday.

“He takes a ton of selfies with his iPhone, so the extra storage will be welcome when he gets a tablet with a camera on it,” says Newman.

Submitted by Jill Raponi.

Cat Cop Schools Kittens on Dangers of Catnip

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Cat Cop Schools Kittens on Dangers of Catnip

By mirandate, FluffPo Correspondent

PORTLAND, OR – Officer George O’Tabby, a local officer in the CARE (Catnip Abuse Rejection Education) Program, is offering a free screening of the film Catnip: Egress to Oblivion? Wednesday night at 8 p.m. under the couch. The film is designed to educate young kittens on the dangers of catnip excess and prevent kitten participation in cat gangs. 

While critics of the CARE program point out that it presents mistruths and distortions about catnip to young kittens, a source close to Officer O’Tabby stated “Despite the CARE program’s flaws, O’Tabby enjoys mentoring kittens and washing their faces. They are warm and snuggly – wait, that makes him sound kind of dirty. Forget I said that. Are you recording this?”

Officer O’Tabby’s precinct captain hastened to confirm that his ethics record is spotless, though not free of stripes. However, the captain declined to comment on rumors regarding a catnip stash in O’Tabby’s cap and nightstick.

Via Pawesome.

Dog’s Cleaning Service Sees Uptick In New Clients

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Dog’s Cleaning Service Sees Uptick In New Clients

Canine Cleaners, Inc. landed four new clients this week after a glowing review of its services was posted to AngiesList on Sunday.

“I’ve used them three times this year alone,” says Jenny Kramer, a satisfied customer. “They have a great attention to detail, especially the owner, Blue. I’ve never seen my floors so shiny.”

Via amiker7709.