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Puppy Flunks Out of Jedi Academy

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Sigmund, a puppy from the the swamp planet of Dagobah has failed out of Jedi Academy, according to sources close the situation.

“He’s definitely got the Force; a ton of potential,” said instructor Tylo Ugufu. “He’s just got no discipline.”

The dog apparently had a terrible attendance record and spent more time partying than studying. 

“He’d spend all his time in the cantina drinking flameout and gav instead of studying his sword forms,” said Ugufu. “His lightsaber work was really sloppy. He only lasted as long as he did because of natural ability.”

Sigmund will return to Dagobah and may reapply to the Academy next year. 

Via blowhole_moustache.

Cat’s Hammock Biz Takes Off After ‘Shark Tank’ Appearance

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A shelter cat named Squeak from the Abandoned Animal Rescue in Tomball, TX has seen a huge increase in sales for his “pawmade” hammocks after an appearance on hit television show Shark Tank, even though he didn’t receive an investment.

“I think the TV appearance was huge for publicity,” said shelter volunteer Taryn Wilder. “I was shocked none of the sharks invested. It’s a super high quality product, but I guess they were concerned it couldn’t scale well.”

According to his Etsy page, Squeak makes every hammock to order using locally sourced and recycled materials. Since his appearance, though, he’s had trouble keeping up with orders.

“He sort of fell into this,” said Wilder. “He made the first one for himself, then some other cats wanted one and it just grew from there.”

Wilder expects that Squeak will enlist the help of others at the animal shelter to meet demand.

“There’s a pug named Mirabelle who makes these awesome tote bags. But she’s had trouble selling them. I bet Squeak could put her to work, though.”

Via Feverpig.

Area Cat Launches ‘Uber for Laundry’

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Most people roll their eyes when a friend has “an idea for an app.” But when Darby, a local cat and serial entrepreneur, started sharing details for his on-demand, distributed laundry service, investors’ ear perked up.

“You simply sign up for an account, and the next time you need your laundry done, you just open the app, select the size of the load and your deadline, and one of our Laundry Agents will arrive at your location within 30 minutes,” says Eugene Carmichael, chief marketing officer for GoSuds, which launched last week. “They’ll have the load washed, dried, folded, and delivered back to you. And if you’ve already entered your payment info, there’s no hassle there.”

Those Laundry Agents are not full time employees of GoSuds, but free agents, much like Uber drivers. And Darby views that business model as the future of distributed work, according to sources close to the now-CEO.

“I was eager to back Darby. He has a successful, if modest business track record,” says Richard Delancy, an early-stage investor who has bought in to GoSuds for an undisclosed amount. “His companies have always been profitable, but this one could really get big, and fast. We’re expecting a strong return. I think it will significantly disrupt the laundry establishment.”

via William2487