animals

Dog’s License Suspended for Erratic Driving

Authorities in Chicago, IL have confirmed that a 3-year-old pup named Jayda was pulled over by police Saturday morning for reckless driving.

“The mini dachshund could barely reach the steering wheel or the pedals,” says Lucas Danforth, the patrol officer who confronted Jayda on Lake Shore Drive. “I’m not even sure how she made it out to the expressway.”

Officer Danforth issued Jayda a hefty fine and was within his right to suspend her license, according to the police commissioner’s officer. “She had two prior moving violations,” the clerk tells The Fluffington Post. “She’ll be off the road for at least six months. That should be enough time for her to find a smaller car.”

Submitted by Amy Wicklund.

Pup’s Jail Break Leads to Park Romp

A 1-year-old Lhasa Apso pup named Newton has escaped from an Orange County animal shelter, according to authorities in California.

“He must have had help from the outside,” says the pound’s warden Jeffrey Mulligan. “There’s no way he could have busted out of here without someone catching him.”

Witnesses spotted the dog a mere four days later frolicking in the park. “He was playing fetch, rolling around in the grass,” says Amy Stochavich, who was picnicking at the time. “In broad daylight, too. Pretty brazen for a new escapee. At least wait for the heat to come off.”

Submitted by Christina Jungle.