Dog and Cat Involved In Hours-Long Standoff

It started out with a simple game of Hide and Seek, but it ended with a tense, three-hour staring contest in the backyard.

When Sam the dog and Pouncy the cat decided to play Hide and Seek, Sam assumed they’d be playing by Oxford rules. Pouncy, though, has always preferred the Bishop of Queensbury version of the game.

Hours later, when Sam finally found the well-hidden kitty, the two got into an extremely heated argument over who actually won the match.

“It was intense,” said Nora Ziedonis, who witness the entire standoff. “They argued for a bit, but then they just stood in the snow and stared at each other for hours. Neither would blink.”

Eventually, a negotiator was able to call a tie and both players went home unhappy, but ultimately unharmed.  No word on if and when a rematch will be scheduled.

Via viperkeeper.

PHOTO OP: But I Want It Now!

Via officialminglee.

Kitten Apologizes for Obscene Outburst

A kitten named Mitzy issued a public apology on Wednesday after a video of her expletive-laden outburst went viral on YouTube.

“Mitzy deeply regrets her public meltdown, and offers a sincere apology to the families — especially the children — whom she offended,” says Conrad Stilhoffer, the kitten’s publicist. “She wants you to know that she was just having a bad day. And while that does not excuse the behavior, she hopes you’ll understand.”

At the time of writing, the video has been viewed 14 million times, and will likely be a black mark on Mitzy’s reputation for some time.

“We hope that when you think of Mitzy, you don’t think of this unruly behavior, but of her other accomplishments, like bringing you that dead field mouse or not puking in your shoes,” said Stilhoffer. It’s unclear what — if any — ramifications this might have on her future professional prospects.

Via drowninginair.

Kitten Cries Foul in Xbox Gaming Tournament

A kitten named Suzie has filed a formal complaint with officials at the Halo 4 World Championship Tournament after a scuffle with another player.

“She claims a competitor pulled the controller from her paws while she was playing,” says Robert Seneca, who has taken up the inquiry. “It was right as she was about to make an epic kill, too. We’re looking into it.”

The World Championship brings together the top ranked Halo players for an all-out death match ladder tournament. Reports indicate that Suzie was a favorite to win the top bracket, an honor that comes with $20,000 in prize money and the potential for lucrative endorsement deals.

“You can understand why she’d be so upset over sabotage like this,” says Seneca.

Via Meeko94.

PHOTO OP: Blue Eyes, Pink Nose

Via Chung Ho Leung.

Ford Unveils New Kitten Dash System

At a press event on Tuesday, Ford Motor Company revealed its latest high-tech vehicle upgrade, a project it has kept a tight lid on for more than two years of development.

“We are thrilled to unveil a piece of proprietary technology we’re extremely proud of,” said Ford’s consumer relations head Malcolm Cherrywood on stage at the event. “The Kitten Dash System will change the way you drive.”

Cherrywood pulled a tarp off of the prototype and cued up a presentation on the screen above him. “How many times have you been cruising along, thinking to yourself, ‘I wish there was a kitten giving me directions up here’?” Cherrywood posed to the crowd. “Well Ford has heard your cries. The Kitten Dash System is an all-in-one GPS, AM/FM radio, Bluetooth enabled, touch-fur package that will get you where you need to go, or just provide some much-needed cuddles when you’re stuck in traffic.”

Cherrywood said the System will be available in all premium Ford vehicles by the fall of 2014.

Via camibarrera.

PHOTO OP: Cross-Eyed Cutie

Via tomiinya.

PHOTO OP: Did Somebody Order a Cute Kitty?

Via dagcancelik.

Newborn Kitten Wins Powerball Jackpot

News of the rising Powerball prize had the entire country excited last week, and none more so than Roger, a days-old kitten from Florida who zipped out to a local convenience store as soon as he learned to open his eyes.

“Personally, I think he should have focused on eating and getting comfortable on four legs,” says Miranda Chambers, a neighbor. “But he was determined to get that ticket!”

It certainly paid off. Roger is the sole winner of the $590 million jackpot.

“Not bad for being alive less than a week,” says Chambers.

Friends of the kitten say he will use the money to pay off some credit card debt, take care of his family, buy a helicopter, and donate the rest to charity.

Submitted by Kitty Moreau.