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Red Pandas Concerned About the Spread of Google Chrome

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Red Pandas Concerned About the Spread of Google Chrome

The Red Panda Coalition, an advocacy group for red pandas, has issued a press release indicating their concern over the growth of Google’s Chrome web browser.  The browser now has, by some measures, over a third of the world’s market share and has been rising steadily since its introduction in 2008.  Firefox, meanwhile, has seen its growth decelerate in recent years and has been stagnant or declining over the past 12 months. This has the RPC concerned.

“What many people don’t realize,” said RPC spokesperson Maria Cueto, “is that Firefox was a real shot in the arm for the red panda job market.”

According to the RPC, Firefox accounts for over 45% of all red panda employment over the past decade.  "If Firefox continues to lose market share, it could be devastating to red pandas,“ said Cueto, who indicated that red panda unemployment has already started to creep back up above 10%.

Via Raphael Quinet.

Goat Way Too Smug For His Own Good

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Goat Way Too Smug For His Own Good

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

According to reports, a local goat is entirely too full of himself and really needs to be taken down a notch. Sources tell The Fluffington Post that Dale has been displaying signs of extreme smugness, even more than is typically expected from a goat. 

“His sense of self-satisfaction is off the charts,” says farm animal expert Bess Leary. “I’ve never seen a goat that’s just so above it all. He literally couldn’t care less.”

Via MyHairIsCool.

Three Little Pigs Plan Reunion Tour

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Three Little Pigs Plan Reunion Tour

It’s been nearly three decades since the Three Little Pigs, Rufus, Terry and Josh, shot to fame after two out of three of their houses were infamously blown down by the Big Bad Wolf.  Now, a spokesperson for the pigs has announced that the trio is planning a worldwide reunion tour, set to kick off later this year in Amsterdam, Netherlands.  

This should come as happy news to the legions of adoring fans who have developed a thriving Three Little Pigs sub-culture on the Internet.  

“I am so happy right now.  This better not be a hoax,” wrote superfan HuffAndPuff37 on the /r/ThreeLittlePigs/ sub-Reddit this afternoon.

The tour will include a two month European leg, followed by a three month swing through North America, before finishing off with stops in Australia in Japan next Spring.  The Big Bad Wolf is reportedly still enjoying his retirement in Calgary, Alberta, Canada and has no plans to join the tour.

Via nicolee_pikita.

Ferret Installs Hammock in ‘Man Cave’

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Ferret Installs Hammock in ‘Man Cave’

Mordecai takes his time off seriously, which is why the ferret has installed a hammock in his finished basement.

“This really completes his ‘man cave,’” said close friend Tommy Sorkin. “He already had the flatscreen and the keggerator, but adding the hammock is the coup de grâce.”

According to Sorkin, Mordecai will spend up to four hours each day after work relaxing in his new basement hammock. “Mostly he’s watching Goodfellas.  Apparently it’s a ferret thing – they love De Niro. Who knew?”

Via originalpozer.