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Pomeranian Terrorizes Neighborhood Cats
Police have received several complaints from local felines claiming an unidentified Pomeranian has been shouting and making lewd gestures at them from the street.
“We’re looking into it,” says officer Judd Kaplan. “Right now, we’re following a few leads, but so far the suspect has remained elusive.”
Via RevenantXero.
U.S. Military Testing Hover Dogs
According to a special report in The Atlantic, a DARPA-funded research project is currently testing hover dogs as a potential means of transportation over rocky terrain. The research takes advantage of what is called the Zero-G Growl Distortion Field, which allows dogs to hover after being trained to bark at their own anatomical resonance.
“Once a dog achieves resonance match, its fur will oscillate at such a high speed that the air around the dog’s body will bend – then BINGO, hover dog,” researcher Hans Applethorpe explained to The Atlantic.
If the project makes it out of the lab, dogs will likely be used for fetching things in the field.
Via RingoCalamity.
SURVEY: Dogs Also Clueless About LinkedIn
A new survey out from Forrester Research finds that much like humans, dogs have no idea what to do with their LinkedIn profiles.
“They might update it when they’re looking to change jobs, but otherwise, there’s not a lot going on there,” says Mike Boston, author of the report that measures canine social media use. The survey finds that dogs are much more likely to make meaningful professional connections on Facebook.
Vernon Bones, submitted by Nora.
Dog Circumnavigates Living Room on U.S.S. Couch
A pup named Gaston has successfully sailed across the entire living room and back again on a ship named the U.S.S. Couch. He is the first in recorded history to do so, though some scholars believe Viking dogs may have achieved this feat long before Western European canines “discovered” the living room.
Submitted by Lief Anne Stiles.
Bourgeois Cat Does Not Have Time for Riff Raff
A 2-year-old cat named Miles Davis certainly enjoys the finer things in life – jazz, scotch, monocles, and of course, bow ties. But he does not have the patience to deal with “undesirables.”
“His time is extremely valuable,” says Ron Conner, Davis’s personal assistant. “If you can’t hold a conversation about post-modern architecture, chances are he’ll dismiss you out of paw.”
Submitted by Carly Bright.
