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8 Baller Cats Who Are Richer Than You
Maybe if you had worked a little harder, you’d be as wealthy as these kitties.
But you didn’t. You spent all your free time playing Medal of Duty and eating Cheez Doodles. Not the crispy kind, mind you. The puffy kind.
You disgust me. Get out of my sight.
Via Ca$hCatz.biz, the greatest thing on the Internet.
Cat Sues Scratching Post Manufacturer After Freak Accident
After face-planting on a scratching post last week, Jerry the cat has filed a lawsuit against manufacturer KittyWise for $2.5 million in damages, citing faulty construction and safety violations.
“The pain and humiliation my client has suffered at the hands of this shoddy, two-bit product is appalling,” says Mitchell Corsair, Jerry’s attorney.
KittyWise could not be reached for official comment, but unnamed sources within the company tell The Fluffington Post that Jerry is a known klutz, and the lawsuit is nothing but a publicity stunt.
Via Kazuyo Terada.
STUDY: Cats Are Kind of Weird
According to findings from a new study out of Emory University, a majority of cats are very difficult for humans to understand. "We found that almost all cats do completely inexplicable things on a regular basis,“ said Daniel Turley, lead researcher for the study, which will be published next month in the Journal of Feline Kinesiology. "One moment they’re just sitting there then, BAM, total freak out. Weird.”
This confirms the findings of another study out earlier this week that most Americans perceive cats as weirdos. “In this case, perception definitely aligns with reality,” said Turley.
Via elekesmagdi.
Butt-Sniffing Accident Causes 2-Dog Pileup
The Fluffington Post has received word of a major collision off Route 9 involving two compact dogs. Officials on the scene say Rizzo stopped short, causing Charlie to misjudge the angle of a routine butt sniff. The resulting rear-end collision has slowed traffic in both directions thanks to severe rubber-necking.
Drivers are advised to avoid the stretch between exits 26 and 28 until the wreck can be cleared.
Submitted by Jamie Baldanza.
Cat Encases Enemy in Carbonite
According to numerous reports, area cat Lemonjello has encased fellow cat, Oranjello – a long-time nemesis – in carbonite. The cryonic alloy is best known for its use in the movie Star Wars when Boba Fett utilizes it to freeze Han Solo in stasis to transport him to Jabba the Hutt. Until Lemonjello used the substance on Oranjello, carbonite was thought to be fictional.
