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Cat Cuts Supply Lines to Living Room With Homemade Tank
Waffles the cat has blockaded critical supply routes to the living room after a successful push through enemy territory in a cardboard tank.
“Our food and medical provisions from the kitchen are completely cut off,” an allied soldier tells The Fluffington Post. “It’s a real mess out here. We’ve got to just keep our heads down until reinforcements arrive.”
Via Waffles the Cat.
Kittens Fall Victim to Photoshop Attack
Kittens Huey and Sammy of Chapel Hill, NC are in cringe-worthy condition after a brutal Photoshop attack late Tuesday night.
“They were just hanging around, minding their own business, when out of the blue, they start appearing in these wacky and unnatural situations,” says Megan Green, who witnessed the incident first-hand. “Huey was dunking basketballs, Sammy bought an ice cream parlor – I mean, it made no sense!”
Chapel Hill police have a few leads, but at this time, the perpetrator remains at large.
Submitted by Hannah Shaw.
Dog Wants to Party, But Sombrero Is Too Small
A report from San Diego, CA indicates that a local dog is ready for a big night on the town, but depressed by his relatively lackluster headwear. One source tells The Fluffington Post that the pooch special ordered the hat from an online boutique in Mexico, but thought it would be bigger. "The dimensions were printed right on the site, so I don’t know what he’s complaining about,“ said the source. "That said, I know I couldn’t party in a hat that small.”
Via lovetowel.
Designer Debuts ‘Short & Stout’ Bulldog Clothing Line
Fashion designer Cara Swig knows all dogs aren’t long and lean.
“Some dogs have curves, and they should be proud of that,” Swig tells The Fluffington Post. “But it’s not always easy for plumper pups to find clothes that fit well.”
As such, Swig has debuted her new line of dogwear called “The Short & Stout Collection,” available exclusively at Target.
“They’re really cut with bulldogs in mind, but any portly pooch should find something to suit his or her taste,” says Swig.
The line goes on sale June 5th.
Via bullybailey.
Hamster Announces Run for President
At a sparsely attended public appearance outside a mall in Overland Park, KS a political newcomer named Dizzy the Hamster threw his exercise wheel into the race for President of the United States. Dizzy is running as an independent on an anti-vacuum platform that might resonate with hamster voters but will be a tough sell to the general public.
Though Dizzy has no prior experience in politics and has never held public office, his campaign is likely to be well capitalized due to his family sawdust fortune.
Via sammybingo.
