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Cat Fraternity Accepts New Pledge Class

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Cat Fraternity Accepts New Pledge Class

Phi Kappa Meow, the infamous feline fraternity known for its wild parties and dangerous hazing rituals, has accepted a new class of pledges.  The 16 would-be frat cats will be enduring the grueling trials of pledge week until Friday.

“Those cats are crazy!” said Tania Nimmo, ‘14, by email.  "I don’t know why anyone would want to go through what they make those pledges do.  Their parties are off the hook, though.“

The photo above was taken by the Campus News Service of a pledge who passed out in the dean’s office after hours.  The University is considering disciplinary action against the fraternity.

Via ingermaaike2.

Puppy Protests ‘Dog Shaming’ With Positive Message

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Puppy Protests ‘Dog Shaming’ With Positive Message

The popular “dog shaming” meme has been spreading across the Internet like wildfire.  But one local puppy is having none of it.  

“Savannah thinks so-called ‘dog shaming’ is severely damaging to a pup’s psychological development,” says canine psychoanalyst Dr. Thom Lasco.

The chihuahua puppy is protesting the meme by posting photos of herself along with “pup-positive messages” to the Internet.  

“She really feels that this is an important issue and that dogs need to stand up for their rights,” says Lasco.  "It is the dog shamers who should be ashamed!“

Via CassadeyFedel.

Brooklyn Dog Raises $1.2 Million for Tech Startup

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Brooklyn Dog Raises $1.2 Million for Tech Startup

An enterprising pooch named Ranger has just inked a deal with venture capital firm Innovation Partners for a cool $1.2 million. The money will be used to staff up a new Internet company called WoofMix.com, based in Brooklyn, NY. According to sources, a portion of the cash is already earmarked for incorporation and legal expenses.

So, what does WoofMix plan to do?

“We’re not entirely sure,” says Jeremy Shoemacher, an investor with Innovation Partners. “But Ranger wears a hoodie to work, so he must know what he’s doing with that whole Internet business thing, right?”

Shoemacher later added, “Right? RIGHT?! Oh God, I’m so fired, aren’t I?”

Submitted by Emily Banks.

Notorious Catnip Dealer Convicted on 3 Counts

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Notorious Catnip Dealer Convicted on 3 Counts

After a five-year cathunt and four-month-long trial, the infamous criminal mastermind Ninja was convicted in superior court on two counts of selling illegal catnip and one count of money laundering.

“We’re very pleased that this menace to society is finally behind bars,” said the Jason Kemnitzer, the district attorney who prosecuted the case.

Ninja has been sentenced to five years hard labor at Lolcatraz Correctional Facility, though his attorneys said in a statement that they plan to appeal.

Submitted by Jenny Theolin, photo by James McKenzie-Blyth for LOLCAT – TEH EXHIBISHUN.