kitties

Area Cats Reject Reality, Live in Fantasy World

A pair of local cats, Dora the tuxedo and Luna the tabby, have declared their basement the “Barony of Fluff,” and are refusing to speak to anyone who doesn’t recognize the made-up kingdom.

“It’s lunacy,” said Susan Wolpert, who lets the basement to the kitties. “They owe me two months rent, but now they’re claiming that I owe them because of some archaic, feudal land-grant system they’ve set up.”

The two cats have reportedly built a fortress out of old cardboard boxes and are preparing for a long siege.

Via little_friends.

Kitten’s Escape Thwarted by Paralyzing Fear of Outside

A local kitten’s daring escape was thwarted earlier today by what appears to have been a paralyzing fear of the outside. Once Henry the cat had cleared the front door, witnesses say his eyes grew very wide and he became very still.

“Then a twig snapped,” recounted on witness, “and he bolted under the front steps.”

It took authorities and crisis counselors two hours two hours to coax Henry from his hiding place, but he is now safe at home, resting with his family.

Via Paolo Margari.

PHOTO OP: Napstagram

Via urbannem.

PHOTO OP: Kitty Family Circle

Via Gloson.

Catnip Cartel Allegedly Hacks Into Online Pet Store Website

Authorities believe that Tiny Melendez, the leader of the Blanco catnip cartel, is behind a recent hacking scheme that rerouted delivery of thousands of pounds of catnip bound for a national pet store chain. The catnip went missing last week.

The nip, which had a street value of $500,000, fell off the grid at the port of Veracruz. It never made it into the United States.

It appears, according to the FBI, that the Blanco cartel may have hacked into the shipping company’s computers and altered the tracking information for the shipment. By the time the catnip was stolen from the port, there was no longer any digital record that it had ever even been there.

“This is high-tech, sophisticated stuff,” said FBI investigator Bo Lambert. “We suspect Blanco because computer theft has been their M.O. in the past, and cartel leader Tiny received training at M.I.T.”

VIa rblock.