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Kitten Orders Venti Coffee From Starbucks

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Kitten Orders Venti Coffee From Starbucks

In a move that will certainly lead to “afternoon jitters,” a kitten named Max insisted on ordering a Venti blonde roast from Starbucks this morning, despite protests of co-workers.

“The cup is larger than he is,” says Jared Ferretti, who shares a cubicle with the kitten. “How could anyone drink that much coffee in one day? It’s insane.”

Sources say Max stands by his purchase.

“It’s not the first time,” says Jennifer Sawyer, another co-worker. “Max pounds coffee like a champ. He has to ever since he took that night job as a bouncer at The Kit Kat Klub.”

Via ohlongjohnson1.

Cat’s Cabin Getaway Interrupted

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Cat’s Cabin Getaway Interrupted

When Jack rented a private cabin in the living room for the weekend, he planned on a quiet getaway.

“I know he wanted to take some naps, maybe do a little fishing,” says Martha Honer, a friend. “He just wanted to unwind after a tough week, you know?”

Unfortunately for Jack, his plans didn’t quite pan out. A mere four hours into his vacation, there was a knock on the cabin door.

“It was Jesmond, his annoying neighbor from back home,” says Honer. “He had rented the cabin right next door, and proceeded to sunbathe nude right out in front. Not sure if it’s a coincidence, or if Jesmond was just trying to get in Jack’s face. Either way, his weekend getaway was ruined.”

Submitted by Shiroq Al-Megren.

Pup Patrols Neighborhood for Yellow Snow

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Pup Patrols Neighborhood for Yellow Snow

As a member of Somerset’s neighborhood watch, Massachusetts dog Leo is always on the lookout for suspicious characters and related hijinks. But when the blizzard hit New England this weekend, Leo added another target to his watch list: yellow snow.

“Kids and dogs are going to be out there munching away,” says Jacob Eastbrooke, a Somerset resident and one of the town’s volunteer firefighters. “It’s a veritable smorgasbord of snow. But there are some bad folks out there who are just going to pee on it and keep moving. Personally, I’m glad Leo’s looking into this. Someone’s got to make sure all this snow stays edible.”

So far, Leo has reported 17 instances of yellow snow to local authorities.

“Our job is a lot easier with a trained pee sniffer out there,” says Somerset deputy police chief Ray Chambers. “Leo just calls it in, and we send a crew to take care of it.”

Submitted by Victoria Smith.

New York Dog Still Digging Out From Blizzard

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New York Dog Still Digging Out From Blizzard

Pitanga, a pup from Manhattan, is still shoveling three days after the great blizzard of 2013, which blanketed much of the North Eastern U.S. with snow this past Friday night.

“She was very prepared, I’ll give her that,” says Mark Keller, a neighbor who lives in Pitanga’s building. “Snow suit, top-of-the-line shovels, even a blower. She had the roof cleared off pretty quick. Now she’s on to the sidewalks. You’d think the super would really take care of this stuff, but Pitanga always volunteers.”

Submitted by Rafaela Vezaro.