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BREAKING: Dog Catches Alligator

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BREAKING: Dog Catches Alligator

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

An area dog is being lauded by the pet community after somehow catching an alligator in his living room. Images circulating the web show Cooper, a beagle, beaming proudly with the wild creature under his paw.

“No one knows how he did it exactly,” says Len Porter, a friend. “It just goes to show you that those things can turn up anywhere – swamps, rivers, living rooms. Vigilance is key.”

Others have their doubts.

“That’s not an alligator,” says wildlife expert Russ Chaplin. “You can clearly see the tag below the left leg – alligators don’t have those. At least, not the ones I’ve seen.”

Via too__legit.

Paw-Parazzi Snap Pic of Cat at Facelift Consult

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Paw-Parazzi Snap Pic of Cat at Facelift Consult

By mirandate, FluffPo Correspondent

Chloe, feline legend of stage and screen, is lashing out and hissing at the  paw-parazzi, whom her representative says have gone way too far this time. Earlier this week, a photo surfaced of Chloe apparently undergoing a facelift consultation at the office of celebrity plastic surgeon Gladys Rola Bringard.

Lauri Biondi, Chloe’s long-time PR rep, tells The Fluffington Post, “We can neither confirm nor deny these intrusive reports. Any photographs that may have resulted from this alleged appointment represent a serious breach of her privacy, and we intend to respond with our claws out.”

An unnamed source at TMZ stated, “It’s pretty funny that Chloe’s people are making such a big deal about it, since this is only the latest publicity stunt perpetrated by Chloe’s team in order to revive her sagging career. Everyone remembers last year when her people circulated that picture of her going to the vet, and stirred up concern, when she was really just going in for some shots.”

To date, Chloe’s manager and PR rep categorically deny that photo was staged.

Our source continued, “It’s not even a good strategy. Everyone knows animals’ careers are only big if The FluffPo covers them. Wait, who are you with again?”

Via xinhuanet.com.

Dog Munchkin Thief Identified

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Dog Munchkin Thief Identified

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

Fred the dog had been a welcome addition the Ernst & Young offices in New York City. An “office dog” brought in as part of the city’s experimental Employee Exchange Program, Fred was embraced by all. Then, the Munchkins started disappearing.

“We would have about three cases any given morning,” says secretary Claire Haskell. “By 10 o’clock, they would all be gone. People were upset. Fingers were pointed. It got pretty ugly.”

Then, just as chaos seemed imminent, the culprit became clear. 

“It was Fred,” says Haskell.

The pup received a formal warning, and employees became much more vigilant with their Munchkin deliveries. 

“We basically just stopped leaving them on the floor,” says Haskell. “Fred will still whine, but management told him he’s not going to be getting any. Not until he starts being a good boy.”

Via ohnati.

Cat Cop Schools Kittens on Dangers of Catnip

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Cat Cop Schools Kittens on Dangers of Catnip

By mirandate, FluffPo Correspondent

PORTLAND, OR – Officer George O’Tabby, a local officer in the CARE (Catnip Abuse Rejection Education) Program, is offering a free screening of the film Catnip: Egress to Oblivion? Wednesday night at 8 p.m. under the couch. The film is designed to educate young kittens on the dangers of catnip excess and prevent kitten participation in cat gangs. 

While critics of the CARE program point out that it presents mistruths and distortions about catnip to young kittens, a source close to Officer O’Tabby stated “Despite the CARE program’s flaws, O’Tabby enjoys mentoring kittens and washing their faces. They are warm and snuggly – wait, that makes him sound kind of dirty. Forget I said that. Are you recording this?”

Officer O’Tabby’s precinct captain hastened to confirm that his ethics record is spotless, though not free of stripes. However, the captain declined to comment on rumors regarding a catnip stash in O’Tabby’s cap and nightstick.

Via Pawesome.

Doggie Howser, M.D. Reports to Work for First Day of Residency

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Doggie Howser, M.D. Reports to Work for First Day of Residency

By mirandate, FluffPo Correspondent

 LOS ANGELES, CA – Doggie Howser, a 2-year-old prodigy dachshund, began his neurology internship today after completing medical school in a record-shattering two weeks. 

Although he has difficulty intubating patients due to his lack of thumbs, he left his mark on medical school, graduating first in his class and only peeing on a cadaver once. Now, he is embarking upon a prestigious internship – a distinction that makes him the youngest neurology resident in the state.

His advisor, Dr. Benjamin Canfield, was unimpressed, saying Howser would have to live up to the hype and shouldn’t expect any special treatment due to his youth or adorable face. 

Vinnie Delpino, a source close to the situation, said “Doggie will have to watch out. Dr. Canfield is quite an alpha male." 

However, Mary Margaret Spaulding, a nurse, said "We’re happy to have Doggie on our team. Any new intern is bound to have a few oopsies, but Doggie is so darn cute that I don’t think it will be a problem.”

Via KangHee Grändås-Rhee.