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Puppy Mover Skimps on the Job

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Puppy Mover Skimps on the Job

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

George had come with stellar references.

The budding mover and puppy had been hired to relocate Frank Washburn from his walk-up apartment in Queens, NY to his new home in Long Island. Everything was coming along smoothly – that is, until it was time to get the sofa in. 

“He couldn’t get it through the front door, so he told me he would have to use the side entrance,” says Washburn. He spent about a half hour trying to get it in through there before he realized that wasn’t going to work. Then he decided it was the cushions – he rearranged those for a bit. Then he pretty much just gave up. The sofa is still outside.“

Calls to George Moving, LLC were not returned, presumably because George was still napping at the time.

Via Osmondcraig

Celebrity Llama Outed at Underbiters Anonymous

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Celebrity Llama Outed at Underbiters Anonymous

By Stephanie Buck, Chief Llama Correspondent

Colorful radio personality, DJ Shear Force, was spotted exiting an alleged 12-step program in Sacramento, CA Wednesday evening.  

Witnesses eating gluten-free carrot cake in a nearby cafe say the local celeb exited an unassuming basement conference room on K Street, a known gathering place for recovering underbiters. 

“His fur looked really mottled, like he hadn’t slept in weeks,” shared an emotional onlooker. “It’s so tragic that he would let an underbite mess with his life. He has kids to look after!”

Shear Force’s employer, 102.7 The Herd, could not be reached for comment.

Via Tambako the Jaguar.

REPORT: Dog Looks Really Good in Snow

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REPORT: Dog Looks Really Good in Snow

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

According to a recent report in Attractive Dog Weekly, Max the papillon looks absolutely spectacular when out in the snow.
“It’s really quite amazing,” says pet aesthetician Greta Corbin. “You get him out there, and it’s like a GQ spread every time. The flakes have a way of speckling his fur like nothing I’ve ever seen. The snow literally gravitates toward him.”
Since getting wind of the news, Max has been seen outside much more frequently then usual. 
“Yeah, he’s out there basically all the time now,” says Marty Bornstein, a neighbor. “You see him frolicking in the snow like it’s his job or something. It’s pretty annoying. I think that ADW issue really went to his head.”

Cat to Star in Cymbalta Commercial

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Cat to Star in Cymbalta Commercial

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

Frankie the cat rarely goes outside. He also sleeps up to 16 hours a day. Naturally, he was the perfect subject for Cymbalta’s latest television ad.

“We wanted to show people the real face of depression,” says Dustin Gregory, spokesperson for Eli Lilly & Co, the drugmaker behind the antidepressant. “Frankie embodied that morose, melancholy outlook better than any of the humans we’d considered. He was made for this role.”

For his audition, Frankie had to stare blankly out a window and appear “despondent” and “listless.”

“He nailed it,” says Gregory. “You could tell he’d been feeling this way for a long time. Or maybe it was just him being a cat. To be honest, we really don’t know.”

Via turbo_loadstone.

BREAKING: Puppy Finally Catches Own Tail

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BREAKING: Puppy Finally Catches Own Tail

By Stacie Grissom, BarkBox Blogger

An 8-week-old golden retriever puppy named Boatswain accomplished the unimaginable, becoming the youngest dog in history to capture his own tail.

“He’s a prodigy,” says Abe Brenner, a golden retriever trainer and historian. “I’ve seen goldens with countless dog years on Boatswain who whirl and whirl after their tail to no avail. I’m flabbergasted by his early success.”

No word yet on whether Boatswain will compete in tailchasing for the 2016 Puplympics. 

Via whiteprussian.