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Area Cat Is Filled With Holiday Cheer

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Area Cat Is Filled With Holiday Cheer

Jimmy, a local tabby, absolutely loves the holidays. Every year, as soon as Thanksgiving is over, Jimmy hauls up the decoration bin from the basement and starts decking out the house.

“He’s basically the household arbiter of Christmas cheer,” said roommate Linda Perkins.

This year, Jimmy decided to enter a local holiday hat competition. He spent all last week perfecting his felt head gear.  

“Now that he’s done, I think he’s maybe having second thoughts,” said Perkins.  "I mean it looks great, and Jimmy loves the holidays.  But he’s really not a hat person.“

Top prize is a supposedly delicious fruit cake. 

Via Kerri Lee Smith.

REPORT: Guinea Pigs Engaging In Insider Trading

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REPORT: Guinea Pigs Engaging In Insider Trading

By Scott Friedstein, FluffPo Correspondent

According to a report filed by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, guinea pigs have been knowingly participating in insider trading in a brazen attempt to make a profit. The report cited several prominent guinea pig investors who have engaged in suspicious stock activity as of late.

“There was a massive sell-off of PiggyCorp stock right before it went under,” says SEC spokesman Paul Cohen. “Guinea pigs are cute, but that can’t be a coincidence. We have every reason to believe that the PiggyCorp liquidation was an inside job. And as for the piggies who profited – well, let’s just say their days are numbered.”

Via Castaway in Scotland.

Chimp Remains Unworried by Fiscal Cliff

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Chimp Remains Unworried by Fiscal Cliff

A San Diego chimpanzee named Horace is calm in spite of the looming financial disaster facing the United States.  According to sources, Horace is certain that Speaker Boehner and President Obama will work out a deal before the December 31 deadline for the so-called “fiscal cliff.”

“I don’t think either party really wants to go over the cliff and risk a recession,” said friend Silas Wells.  "Horace feels that a deal will be reached soon, and that even if we do end up going over the edge, a deal would be worked out quickly thereafter, before any lasting damage can take place.“

Others don’t see Horace’s quiescence as reassuring.  "Horace could very well be right,” said economist Robert Tompkins.  "But one thing about him gives me pause.  He’s a chimp.  And chimps have been wrong about the economy before.“

Via Tambako the Jaguar.