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Dog Erects Wall to Keep Out Nosy Neighbors

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Dog Erects Wall to Keep Out Nosy Neighbors

What do you do when your neighbor just won’t stay out of your business?  One area pup has decided to erect a four-and-a-half foot wall around his entire property.

“Carlos was just tired of his neighbors always watching him and always trying to strike up a conversation or borrow his lawn tools,” said Harry Wilpon, the Golden Retriever’s lawyer.  "He is perfectly within his rights to put up this security wall.“

According to Wilpon, the dog had to get an easement from his neighbors to the rear to build so close to the property line, but they were reportedly "totally on board” because they too find the Carlos’s next door neighbors annoying.

Via carlosthegolden.

Area Cat Will Not Fit, Will Not Ship

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Area Cat Will Not Fit, Will Not Ship

The US Postal Service’s flat rate priority mailers come with the guarantee that “if it fits, it ships,” regardless of weight.  But a local cat named Monty, who was hoping to save some cash by shipping himself to Boca Raton to visit his grandmother this winter, has been having trouble getting into the box.

“He’s been trying every position he can think of to fit,” said close friend Christine Redmond. “I think he’s just going to have to break down and buy a plane ticket.”

It might not have mattered even if he had figured out how to fit in the box, however. 

“Yeah, no, there’s no way we could mail him,” said USPS spokesperson Tony Rustigian.  "We don’t ship cats.“

Via pawpageants.

Dog Concerned Over Tanking Stock Portfolio

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Dog Concerned Over Tanking Stock Portfolio

Ze’ev, a local Samoyed, checks up on his investments with obsessive regularity. Lately, he’s noticed a steep downward slide, especially in his stock portfolio.

“He’s been reading the business section every day, trying to get a better sense of the market,” says Conrad Fletcher, a friend and fellow investor. “I told him not to put all his eggs in the VHS tape manufacturing sector, but he wouldn’t listen.”

Via bewarethepolarbear, submitted by Jamie Baldanza.

Cat Campaigns for Fresher Sushi

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Cat Campaigns for Fresher Sushi

When it comes to sushi, the fresher, the better.  At least, that’s what amateur feline food writer Ubaldo thinks.  According to Ubaldo’s latest culinary tips zine, which he has been distributing for 25 cents per copy outside of the local Whole Foods, sushi tastes better when it is made with the freshest ingredients.  

The zine includes a call to action for local sushi restaurants to use only fresh and never frozen products in their food.

“Far be it from me to agree with a cat who clearly printed this so-called magazine at home and stapled it together,” said actual professional food critic Rusty von Warner, “but he’s right.  Fresh fish is better.”

Via play4smee.