After months of arguments, Oscar the cat agreed to go to family therapy. He thought he’d finally be able to work through his differences with his brother and roommate, Terrence. The pair’s first session reportedly didn’t end well.
“I guess things just got too real,” said close friend Myles Tanzi.
The two cats have been living together since July and the fighting began almost immediately.
“As soon as Terrence moved into Oscar’s pad they were at each other’s throats,” said Tanzi. “Fighting over the best sun spots, over the water dish, over crumpled wads of paper, and so on.”
Tanzi said the therapy was his idea, and he suggested it after having success working through some of his own family issues with his psychoanalyst. But the results of the first session don’t bode well for the future. The two cats got into a physical altercation during a role play about who could sit on windowsill.
“It’s a process,” he said. “I’m just not sure if Oscar will want to go back next week after the fight.”
The alleged Russian hacker behind the leak of thousands of Democratic National Committee documents in July has been exposed, thanks to some crafty counter-espionage by the Central Intelligence Agency.
“Our cyber warfare specialists have reverse-engineered a data cache and recovered an image from the hacker’s webcam moments before the attack,” said CIA director John Brennan in a statement on Tuesday. “The suspect appears to be a Doge.”
But the identity of the Shiba Inu is being hotly debated in the intelligence community.
“Facial recognition scans are still inconclusive,” says Herman Caufman, a technology consultant who has a number of defense department contracts. “It’s a little insensitive to say it, but a lot of Shibas look the same – at least to a computer.”
The algorithms have surfaced two possible identities of known Russian cyber criminals: Malinov Nikolayevich and Kirigin Fyodor (Fedya) Filippovich. But intelligence experts warn these matches are only about 60% conclusive.
“There’s a strong chance he isn’t even in our databases,” says Caufman. “While this is a huge lead in the investigation, there’s probably a lot more of good old fashioned spying to be done.”