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Feline Art Critic Sick of Going to Crappy Shows

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Stella the cat started her journalism career as an intern at The Village Voice twelve years ago. Following a short stint as a stringer at Newsday, the kitty wordsmith found a home as art critic for Time Out New York in 2011. Five years into what she’s long told friends was her dream job, Stella is starting to burn out. 

Friends and co-workers say it’s starting to show in the cat’s work. An audit of her reviews of gallery shows over the past five years shows that her earlier pieces tended to be upbeat and positive. More recent reviews, however, are often biting, sarcastic, and spiritless.

“Stella’s probably been to, I dunno, 1,500 art openings at this point,” said Time Out assistant events editor Nicole Thackery. “She’s seen a lot of great art, but a lot of really bad stuff, too.”

Thackery thinks that all the bad stuff is starting to get to Stella.

“We’ve talked about maybe letting her take a sabbatical to work on some book projects she’s been kicking around,” said Thackery. “You know, clear her head, let her rediscover what she initially loved about this beat.”

Via WG55.

Tiny Horse Uses Too Much Conditioner

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A tiny horse from Vermont named Carol accidentally spilled an entire bottle of conditioner onto her fur over the weekend, according to sources close to the situation.

The horse, who friend’s say has worried about a thinning mane, began using Pantene Pro-V Full & Thick brand hair care products last month. 

“You’re only supposed to use a dime sized drop of conditioner, though,” said one friend. “It’s really hard to open those bottles with hooves. She spilled the entire thing all over.”

The horse reportedly washed the conditioner out immediately, but to no avail. She’s gained about 25% in hair volume and continues to poof up as time passes.

“The only thing for her to do is wait,” said CNN chief hair analyst, Paul Wainwright. “She’s probably reached maximum volume at this point – maybe her coat will get a bit fluffier – and her hair will return to normal in about a day or so. On the plus side, it’s certainly the softest it has ever been.”

Via roirnes.

Area Company Accused of Wasteful Hiring Practices

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A local company has been accused by investors of wasteful hiring practices when it was found that it employs multiple branch managers for even very small branches.

Cook County Lawn Care is under fire from some of its investors after a photograph (above) surfaced showing that the company employs two puppies for a job that could be done easily by one. 

“We have concerns that management is not making wise personnel choices,” said Alice Goldschmidt, a minority backer of the company. “That’s money that could be spent expanding their territory. I don’t think having two dogs per branch really increases efficiency.”

Representatives of CCLC could be reached, though the company did release a generic statement that said in part that they are happy that they “provide meaningful and gainful employment for many local dogs, cats, humans, and iguanas.”

Via Divider1.