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Local Dog Takes Entire Summer Off, No Regrets

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Steve had it up to “here” with the 9-to-5. An awful commute, nonstop meetings, and an inbox that just wouldn’t quit.

So he did – well, not exactly.

“He’s way to valuable around here,” says Connie Jasper. “He realized they would never fire him in a million years. So he took some time off.”

“Some time” being the entire months of June, July, and August.

“He works really hard, and I’m sure he can afford it,” says Jasper.

Sources say Steve is “straight chilling,” and spending lots of his newfound time in hammocks.

via @dareochu.

Cat Forgets Toothbrush During Critical Business Trip

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The North-Eastern Regional Sales Conference was Kysha’s time to shine. She had been prepping for “The Big Show” all quarter, and tensions were high, according to many of her colleagues.

“She’s been on edge for a little while now,” says Martha Chauncey, an account manager who sits across from Kysha in the office. “Her numbers for the entire year are riding on it, so I understand.”

But no sooner had Kysha checked into her hotel in Boston, MA when she realized she had left something critical behind.

“It hit her in a flash,” says Chuck Reynolds, another colleague. “Her toothbrush. It’s probably still on the bathroom counter back home.”

“Confidence is key when it comes to a sales conference like this,” Chauncey explains. “If Kysha isn’t feeling fresh and clean, she may not be able to put her best paw forward. And believe me, it’s already freaking her out.”

There has not been word on whether Kysha plans to purchase a substitute toothbrush in the hotel lobby.

via @kyshaandmika

Area Dog Accused of Being “Creepy”

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A local dog named Elvis has been accused of “creepy” behavior by neighborhood cat Mister, according to sources close to the situation. 

Vanessa Gribaldi, a friend of the cat, says Elvis doesn’t understand the concept of personal space. The cat is suing for “emotional distress.”

“He gets all up in Mister’s face without provocation or invitation,” she said. She provided The Fluffington Post with photographic evidence of the alleged infraction. “[Mister] is very stressed about the whole ordeal.”

A spokesperson for the dog, meanwhile, says the claims are without merit.

“Those two are good friends,” said Lawrence Singleton, an attorney representing Elvis. “They’re just goofing around. Mister is just upset because Elvis ate some of his food last week.”

The two are due in court next month unless a settlement can be worked out.

Submitted by Kelli Shaver.