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Dog Announces Permanent Vacation Until Winter Really Ends

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Dog Announces Permanent Vacation Until Winter Really Ends

by Anna Washenko, FluffPo Correspondent

Fed up with the endless cold and inexplicable snowfalls, local dog Sunny decided that the best course of action was a semi-permanent vacation to Florida. Sources said she will remain in or near the pool at the Miami Ritz Carlton until conditions improve. 

Owner Liz Hamilton supported her pup’s decision, and agreed to foot the bill for Sunny’s trip as long as she was allowed to join in the adventure. 

“This winter was the pits,” Hamilton said. “I was desperate to get out of Chicago, so this idea of staying in Florida until spring really shows up sounded pretty good.”

She said that based on recent temperature fluctuations, the pair may extend their stay until June or July. “Just to be safe,” Hamilton said. “I mean, it snowed in April!” 

Sunny and Hamilton have been taking the vacation social, sending poolside Snapchats to their roommate, Betsy Wilson, back in the Windy City.

When reached, Wilson declined to comment. 

Via Clay Gilliland.

Feds Reign in Puppy’s Crime Spree

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Feds Reign in Puppy’s Crime Spree

The FBI press service announced Sunday that notorious puppy gangster Wrinkles McGuff has been taken into custody.

“After countless mangled shoes and carpet stains, McGuff’s spree of terrible behavior has come to and end,” read the press release. “He has been detained in a Federal facility, pending arraignment.”

There is no word yet on a court date, but The Fluffington Post will provide updates as this story develops.

Via LoveAndDoubt.

Area Cat Proclaimed “Queen of the Jungle”

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Area Cat Proclaimed “Queen of the Jungle”

A local cat named Wollie Wu has secured the title “Queen of the Jungle” after a political power struggle lasting four to five days, according to sources familiar with the situation.

“It’s not exactly a democratic process,” says Eva Gledhill, a journalist who writes about Jungle politics. “But let’s just say you have to know the right people if you want to claim the throne. And by ‘people,’ I mean ‘cats.’”

Then there’s the question of “jungle” in the first place.

“Is it really a jungle, or just a group of ferns in the corner of the garage?” Gledhill poses. “Who can say?”

Submitted by Karen Kennis.