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California Puppy Desperately Needs a Haircut
It’s been weeks since Kenny, a 2-year-old poodle from San Francisco, has done anything with those bangs.
An up-do definitely works for him, but sometimes he just wants to let it all hang out. And then what have you got? A big hot mess, that’s what.
Submitted by Lauren McLoughlin.
Clothing Company Awarded Patent for Greatest Kitten T-Shirt of All Time
The U.S. Patent Office is notoriously cautious in awarding legal ownership of superlative intellectual property. Previous bids for “Greatest Waffle Iron Ever” and “Sweetest Bill Cosby Impression” have been rebuffed on grounds of subjectivity.
However, in what some are calling a game-changing move, the office has granted The Mountain T-Shirt Store a patent for “The Greatest Kitten T-Shirt of All Time” (pictured above).
“It’s fairly cut and dry,” says Norman Aquillar, senior patent examiner in Washington, DC. “This is literally the greatest kitten T-shirt that has ever been made. We would be remiss to deny IP protection of something that is so universally and undeniably true.”
Area Cat May Suffer From Social Anxiety Disorder
Psychologists are debating whether to formally diagnose a very shy local cat with social anxiety disorder.
“On the one hand, he may benefit from the treatment that comes with a diagnosis,” says Dr. Roman Gannet. “On the other hand, he may just like keeping to himself. On the other hand, he is a cat.”
Via Christina Masnou.
EXCLUSIVE: Otis the Corgi Talks Internet Fame and Men’s Fashion
No doubt you’ve been following the adventures of Otis the Corgi on Tumblr. He’s “The Official Frogdog” – that is, the licensed mascot of legendary bearded blogger The Frogman.
Thanks to his owner’s Internet cachet, Otis has come into his own as an Internet celebrity. The Fluffington Post recently caught up with Otis to find out how fame has been treating him.
The Fluffington Post:
Hi Otis, thanks for taking the time to speak with us.
Otis the Corgi:
Rrrruuuh!
TFP:
So, how did you get your start on Tumblr?
OTC:
Rrrrru? Ra. Ra-Rooo!
TFP:
I see, yes it is a very social platform. And how are you handling this new fame? Do you feel pressure to be adorable every single day?
OTC:
Ruff! Rawooo, roo! … Rrrruh row!
TFP:
[Laughs] Well, I don’t think we should be advocating cocaine – there might be kids reading.
OTC:
[Shrugs]
TFP:
You’re a very well-dressed young man. Any fashion tips?
OTC:
[Stares blankly]. Rrrrruuuuuu! [Growls].
TFP:
So true. Listen, thanks again Otis for talking with us today, and best of luck with everything.
OTC:
You bet.
Submitted by The Frogman.
Local Kitten Just Can’t Get It Together in the Morning
Despite copious amounts of coffee, an area kitten is still struggling to start her day with pep in her step.
Next stop: Five Hour Catnip.
Via Consumption1.
