Dog Conquers World; Still Feels Empty Inside

Dog Conquers World; Still Feels Empty Inside

Bow to your new master, Putnam the dog. According to reports out of Nepal, the seven-year-old pup has completed his quest to conquer the majority of the known world.

“His claims are legitimate, as far as we can tell,” said United Nations international conquest expert Rasmus Møller. “We’re still doing some checking, but it seems airtight. Legally speaking, I mean. Putnam’s our new overlord.”

But while the dog may now rule over most of the planet, rumors suggest that he’s not as happy as he thought he would be.

“He thought if he took over Earth, he’d be happy,” one advisor told The Fluffington Post on the condition of anonymity. “But as it turns out, world domination wasn’t what was missing from his life. To be honest, I think he might have been happier with a new chew toy or two. Maybe a change to a higher protein kibble.”

Via trot-trot.