Canine Physicists Close in on Elusive ‘Dog Particle’

Canine Physicists Close in on Elusive ‘Dog Particle’

The furry team of theoretical physicists that famously rejected the existence of the Higgs Boson particle have published new research claiming they are closer than ever to unlocking the origins of the universe.

“Their methodology differs substantially from that conducted at CERN,” explains Darren Pick, a writer who covers physics for Scientific American. “While the Large Hadron Collider smashes atoms together at high speeds, the dogs mostly waddle around and try to sniff out the best protons and neutrinos.”

Their findings point to what they have dubbed “The Dog Particle” – a primordial subatomic mass shaped like a milk bone.

“A wonderful, delicious milk bone,” says Pick, reading from the dogs’ paper.

It has yet to undergo peer review.

Via The Giant Vermin.