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DIRECTV Launches New Line of Catellite Dishes

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DIRECTV Launches New Line of Catellite Dishes

By Melissa Venditti, FluffPo Special Correspondent

Carl Fraser, DIRECTV’s senior vice president of product, has announced that the company will launch its new line of Catellite dishes this spring. The receivers will install directly on your cat and add 34 new channels of feline-focused programming.

“With the rising popularity of fluffy animal media, we thought this was the puuurfect opportunity to pounce on our competition,” said Fraser at the company’s headquarters in El Segundo, CA.

Florida Unicorn Turns Out to Be Dog in Costume

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Florida Unicorn Turns Out to Be Dog in Costume

The zoological community was sorely disappointed on Friday when the unicorn spotted in the wilds of Orlando, FL turned out to be a dog named Annabelle in a ridiculous costume.

“It was too good to be true,” says Dr. Francis Shale, a biologist who studies rare species. “Finding an actual unicorn in the wild is the Holy Grail of science. To be tricked like this – well, it just hurts, that’s all.”

Submitted by Amy Cassell.

DC Cat Charged With First Degree Silliness

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DC Cat Charged With First Degree Silliness

A Washington, DC cat named Nurgle was arrested and charged with three counts of first degree silliness late Friday. Witnesses say the 4-year-old feline was caught sniffing hair mousse caps, getting stuck inside Christmas tree boxes and being “rascally.”

Nurgle’s arraignment has been scheduled for April 26th.

Submitted by Piddlebucket.

Toronto Cat Bored by ‘The Hunger Games’

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Toronto Cat Bored by ‘The Hunger Games’

Tired of hearing everyone yammer on about it at the office, Louie finally broke down and started reading The Hunger Games. But the Toronto cat was taken aback when he learned the story was about post-apocalyptic children locked in mortal combat, and not about the fun you have running into the kitchen every time you hear the can opener.

Sources close to the situation say Louie is even less inclined to see the movie after this disappointment.

Submitted by Jaclyn Klein.