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Scientists: Black Cats Cannot Become Black Holes
Despite numerous media reports, scientists at the CERN Laboratory in Geneva have rebuked the notion that a tightly wound black cat could accumulate enough mass to generate a rift in the time-space continuum.
“It’s nonsense,” says Gottfried Horner, a noted theoretical physicist. “Just scare tactics from the anti-cat media.”
Ninja, submitted by Paul Leone.
Pomeranian Earns Jr. Driver’s License
As soon as Peanut turned six, he headed straight to the DMV. He’d grown tired of relying on his parents to drive him to the movies. A Jr. License is the first step toward his independence.
“He starts his first day of driving lessons in June,” says Melissa Bell, a source close to the situation.
Cat Captured in Extremely Unflattering Photo
Puck, an 8-month-old kitty from Sumter, SC, was photographed at an awkward moment, yielding what many experts believe is the most unflattering picture of all time.
“We have spent hours discussing the various cute and creepy characteristics,” says Kate Howard, a source close to the situation. “His eyes are neither blue nor green – that’s just a strange reflection from the camera. And the ‘crazy tooth’ just makes it for me.”
Howard tells The Fluffington Post that Puck was playing with a hookless orange fly fishing lure at the moment the awkward photo was taken.
PHOTO OP: Corn Dog
Submitted by Sara Wenokur.
Pomeranian Pup Will Do Anything for Carrots
Need someone to do the laundry or take out the trash? Just keep a ready supply of baby carrots.
That’s because Mishka, a 5-month-old Pomeranian, will do anything – and we mean anything – for that juicy orange nugget.
“I once got him to wash my car and pick up my dry cleaning for a measly three carrots,” says Mark Giffords, a source close to the situation. “You can’t even find kids to work that cheap anymore.”
Submitted by Daniel Novak.
