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Cat Lands Home Decorating Show on HGTV

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Cat Lands Home Decorating Show on HGTV

British interior designer and 6-year-old cat Rosie has scored a new reality decorating show on the Home and Garden network. Tentatively titled Rosie Gets Real, the show deals with families on a budget who want to makeover a room, but don’t have the money for their dream amenities.

“It’s about bargain hunting and making a little bit of style go a long way in the space,” says executive producer Kevin Roberts. “Rosie is brilliant at this – she can make Walmart curtains look like they came from Versailles. And the camera really loves her.”

Six episodes have already been shot, and the show is scheduled to launch in November.

Submitted by Linda Kennedy.

California Cat Hangs Ten in Sweet Hammock

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California Cat Hangs Ten in Sweet Hammock

Tired of slumming it on the boring old floor, Huntington Beach, CA cat Vladimir set up a pretty clutch blue hammock between the legs of the living room chair. Known as the Cat Crib, the stylish sleeping solution is quickly sweeping the nation.

“My buddy Mittens has a Cat Crib,” says Ron Kipper, a local resident. “He had a lot of back pain from all the skulking he was doing at work. A few nights on the Cat Crib cleared that right up. He’s a ray of sunshine, these days.”

Submitted by Greg.

Brooklyn Dog Raises $1.2 Million for Tech Startup

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Brooklyn Dog Raises $1.2 Million for Tech Startup

An enterprising pooch named Ranger has just inked a deal with venture capital firm Innovation Partners for a cool $1.2 million. The money will be used to staff up a new Internet company called WoofMix.com, based in Brooklyn, NY. According to sources, a portion of the cash is already earmarked for incorporation and legal expenses.

So, what does WoofMix plan to do?

“We’re not entirely sure,” says Jeremy Shoemacher, an investor with Innovation Partners. “But Ranger wears a hoodie to work, so he must know what he’s doing with that whole Internet business thing, right?”

Shoemacher later added, “Right? RIGHT?! Oh God, I’m so fired, aren’t I?”

Submitted by Emily Banks.

Penguin Candidate Clings to Flightless Presidential Campaign

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Penguin Candidate Clings to Flightless Presidential Campaign

Hugh Wilmore, life-long penguin and presidential candidate for the Avian Americans Party, is pressing forward in his bid for the White House, despite the resignation of three top advisers who insist he stands no chance in November.

“He’s a third-party candidate who flipper-flopped – if you will – on too many important issues,” says Ted Cortese, political analyst for antarctico.com. “Iceberg mining will create jobs? What is that?”

“He’s out there again today, waving to crowds and pecking babies,” a Wilmore campaign official tells The Fluffington Post under condition of anonymity. “It’s just embarrassing at this point. He wasn’t even invited to the debates.”

Photo republished with permission from the book Animal Encyclopedia. Copyright ©2012 National Geographic Society. Available wherever books are sold.

Cat Chooses Tux for Jr. Prom 7 Months Early

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Cat Chooses Tux for Jr. Prom 7 Months Early

Worried his local rental shop would be out of stock on his favorite style, Brooklyn, NY cat Riley has already reserved a tuxedo for the junior prom, an event scheduled for June 1, 2013, according to the PTA calendar.

“It’s a classic two-button,” says Ralph Canata of Canata’s Formal Wear. “Riley went with a bow tie, which is definitely coming back in style. Sure, it’s a long way off, but we can always let out the waistline if he puts on a few pounds before June.”

Submitted by Jenna Olejniczak.