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Bunny Hits Etsy for Latest Christmas Fashions
Tired of mall crowds and department store coupons, a Fort Collins, CO bunny named Lola has taken to Etsy to find the best Christmas fashions around.
“She loves to wear hats,” says Ashley Logan, a source close to the situation. Lola scored this handmade gem from Etsy seller YuleLoveOurHats for only $14.99.
Minneapolis Dog Paranoid About Yellow Snow
The old adage “don’t eat the yellow snow” could not be more poignant for Louis, a Minneapolis shih poo who ventured out into the first wintry weather of the season.
“Snow is one of his favorite snacks,” says Amelia Schroeder, a source close to the situation. “But ever since the ‘incident’ two years ago, he’s really paranoid about the yellow stuff. Now he inspects every clump thoroughly before chowing down. It used to take him about 20 minutes to eat all the snow off the deck. Now it’s more like an hour.”
Submitted by Sarah Bly.
Dog Starts Beatles Cover Band
Local dog Rusty has quit his job as a wedding singer to follow his dream of starting a Beatles cover band.
“They’re called The Rubber Souls,” says band manager Luke “Dizzy” Novick. “Only three pups in there now, we’re looking for the right Ringo. But they’ve got a great sound. If you close your eyes, you’d think you were at the Ed Sullivan show in 1964. Except with dogs singing.”
Submitted by Alex & Lynnette.
Cat Finds Long-Lost Sister on Fluffington Post
A Texas cat named Kelly was browsing this very website when she came upon the story of Vegas, a giant cat under investigation for manslaughter after a man was found dead beneath her.
“Her whole life, Kelly has been looking for her siblings from the litter she was taken from,” says Andrew Burhoe, a source close to the situation. “Today, she found one of them,” Burhoe explains, referring to the two cats’ identical markings.
Indeed, Vegas has roots in Texas, but until genealogists can get involved, it’s impossible to prove a family connection.
“That won’t be any time soon,” says NYPD detective Conrad Filo who is still investigating the manslaughter case. “We need to make sure Vegas isn’t a threat to society before they have an Oprah reunion, OK?”
Police: Southwest Corner of Mattress a Hotbed of Cat Gang Activity
By Mirandate, FluffPo Correspondent
Police have identified the southwest corner of the mattress as a “hotbed of cat gang activity,” Precinct Captain Scott Reddin said in a press release. The area is under surveillance, and citizens are asked to report any suspicious activity, such as loitering, snoozing, grooming, drooling, vomiting, or scratching.
“Cat gang activity is difficult to define,” warned Reddin, “since by definition, cat gang activity is actually inactivity. The public is advised to document any and all activity to our hotline or on our website. All tips are confidential!”
Captain Reddin also noted that cat gang activity in the area is predicted to temporarily decline on Sunday, when the sheets will be changed and the notorious Tuna4Lyfe crew will be forced to seek another base, likely somewhere under the couch. Then, the gang – suspected in several vandalism and loitering incidents – will likely regroup and get back to old tricks. Said Reddin, “Unfortunately, eliminating cat gang activity is an ongoing battle, and we must stay vigilant.”
