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Cat Will Upgrade to New iPad

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Cat Will Upgrade to New iPad

Chuckie, a cat from Binghamton, NY, is fed up with his first-generation iPad.

“It’s getting very slow, it doesn’t have a camera, and no retina display,” says Fran Newman, Chuckie’s friend and biggest technology advocate. “I mean honestly, how is he supposed to play Fruit Ninja on a Cortex-A8 processor?”

Chuckie is reportedly considering the 128 GB iPad, announced by Apple on Tuesday.

“He takes a ton of selfies with his iPhone, so the extra storage will be welcome when he gets a tablet with a camera on it,” says Newman.

Submitted by Jill Raponi.

Cat Knits Throw Blankets for Everyone He Knows

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Cat Knits Throw Blankets for Everyone He Knows

In what his yarn club is calling a “massive undertaking,” a Raleigh, NC cat named Spoon has started working on 346 knitted throw blankets – one for every person he’s ever met.

“It’s a ton of work, but at least he won’t have to go birthday shopping for any of his friends and family this year,” says Karen Stilton, a source close to the situation.

Submitted by Alex Graddy-Reed.

Dog Diagnosed With Severe Bed Head

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Dog Diagnosed With Severe Bed Head

After a week of intense observation, doctors at St. Francis Hospital have diagnosed a 2-year-old pup named Jacob, who exhibited symptoms of frazzled hair and static cling for months.

“We’ve run about 14 different tests, and gathered expert opinions from around the country,” says Dr. Sam Tourig, who specializes in wacky hair disorders. “Most of us agree that this is a case of Severe Bed Head. But, with the right therapies and hair gel products, we believe Jacob can live a normal, productive life, despite his affliction.”

Submitted by Vivien.

Kitty Attempts ‘Inception’-Style Dream Intervention

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Kitty Attempts ‘Inception’-Style Dream Intervention

Inspired by the Christopher Nolan sci-fi thriller Inception, a Queens, NY cat named Frankie has built an iPhone app he hopes will let him meddle consciously in his own dreams.

“The app utilizes the iPhone’s lesser-known brain wave scanning functionality,” says Mitchel Burke, a programmer who assisted Frankie with the DreamWalker app, which you can download from the iTunes store yourself. “Fall asleep next to the phone, and the app will scan your brainwaves and project your dreams on-screen. Unfortunately, Frankie mostly dreams about napping, so we’re having trouble making progress.”

Submitted by Emily Fredrix Goodman.

REPORT: Dog Lands $600,000 Ray-Ban Endorsement Deal

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REPORT: Dog Lands $600,000 Ray-Ban Endorsement Deal

The Hollywood Reporter writes that Jackson, a dog famous numerous character roles in CSI, Franklin & Bash, and Grey’s Anatomy has inked an endorsement deal with Ray-Ban sunglasses for just north of $600,000.

“While not publicly disclosed, sources close to the pup say the deal includes multiple media appearances, product placement in his upcoming film, and three TV spots that will air in summer 2013,” THR reports.

Submitted by Michael Moore.