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Newborn Kitten Wins Powerball Jackpot

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Newborn Kitten Wins Powerball Jackpot

News of the rising Powerball prize had the entire country excited last week, and none more so than Roger, a days-old kitten from Florida who zipped out to a local convenience store as soon as he learned to open his eyes.

“Personally, I think he should have focused on eating and getting comfortable on four legs,” says Miranda Chambers, a neighbor. “But he was determined to get that ticket!”

It certainly paid off. Roger is the sole winner of the $590 million jackpot.

“Not bad for being alive less than a week,” says Chambers.

Friends of the kitten say he will use the money to pay off some credit card debt, take care of his family, buy a helicopter, and donate the rest to charity.

Submitted by Kitty Moreau.

Puppy Prom Goes Off Without a Hitch

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Puppy Prom Goes Off Without a Hitch

The pageantry and romance of prom isn’t lost on the canine set. Senior pups at Twin Oaks High School had theirs last Thursday, and it was a picture-perfect gala, according to sources.

“Butt sniffing on the dance floor was kept to a minimum, thanks to our great chaperones,” says school superintendent Nancy Holbrook. “Riley and Alice were voted prom king and queen, not surprisingly. They make a great couple,”

Submitted by Deb Bennetts, Best Friends Pet Care.

Fashion Bunny Draws Ire Over Tube Hat

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Fashion Bunny Draws Ire Over Tube Hat

In a bold style move, a Wyoming bunny named Blue attended a gala event wearing one of his own designs – a cardboard tube hat that cinched his ears together. No sooner did he enter the room then the attendees whipped out their camera phones and started snapping.

“People were, quite frankly, agog,” says Laney Chipwater, who writes a fashion column for the Wyoming Tribune Eagle. “This was a formal event – black tie and gowns. To walk in with a toilet paper tube on your ears is in poor taste.”

But supporters of the fashion-forward bunny, who is noted for his avant-garde style and envelope-pushing designs, say he was within his right to express himself.

“I think it’s a commentary on the elitist fashion world in which we live,” says Walter Cain, who also attended the event. “It’s an artistic statement. I think we need more bunny designers like Blue to push back on our comfort zones.”

Submitted by Krystal Brown.

Carolina Husky Can’t Seem to Get Comfortable

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Carolina Husky Can’t Seem to Get Comfortable

The Fluffington Post has confirmed that a South Carolina-based Siberian husky named Juno is having difficulty falling asleep.

“She just can’t seem to get comfortable,” says Alana Baskin, a source close to the situation. “She’s tried both sides of the pillow, curling up in the corner, getting a bowl of water – nothing’s working.”

A number of witnesses have expressed their concern, as Juno has an important presentation at work tomorrow.

“She needs to get some rest so she can bring her A-game,” says Jeff English, a colleague at the State Farm Insurance office in Summerville where Juno works. “The whole finance department is counting on her PowerPoint.”

As of press time, Juno’s eyes were still open.

Submitted by Arden Taylor.