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‘Most Interesting Cat in the World’ Confesses to Boredom

Harold Marvin Lamar Overpeck, the self-described “Most Interesting Cat in the World,” shocked fans with a confession early Wednesday.

“While known for paragliding, rock climbing and cavorting with beautiful women, Mr. Overpeck gave in to a moment of boredom last Saturday,” his office wrote in a press release. “While it pains Mr. Overpeck to be boring – even for just five minutes – he feels he must be honest about it.”

As it happens, Overpeck had just arrived home from a European archaeological expedition, missed dinner plans with Ashton Kutcher by mere moments, and exhausted all of his Angry Birds levels.

“There was simply nothing left for him to do,” the release explains. “He just kinda sat there for a while, thinking about things. It was terrible.”

Submitted by Sarah Overpeck.

Kitten Ditches Sneakers for ‘Paws Only’ Hike

An Ontario-based kitten named Erie set out on a six mile hike with his new Nike sneakers, only to abandon them halfway through.

“He looked uncomfortable in them. I don’t think they were the right size,” says Andy Krumholz, who accompanied Erie on the trek. “That’s when he got all self-righteous, and pulled out his literature about how shoes are unnatural, and we should all go barefoot – ‘paws only’ is the latest thing. I think he was just embarrassed he bought the wrong shoes.”

Submitted by Evan Francis.

Kitten Bags Record-Setting Lobster

A 6-week-old kitten named Cammie has brought home what fellow lobster trappers are calling “the catch of the season.”

“It was a huge haul,” says James Richter, who’s been trapping in the North Atlantic for 15 years. “And she pulled up one of the biggest lobsters I’ve ever seen.”

The beast measured in at 41 inches and 15 pounds – not the biggest ever caught, but a new record for the particular waters and season.

“Its markings are kind of weird,” says Richter. “Kind of like a floral pattern. Haven’t seen that before either.”

Sources close to the situation say that Cammie is currently snuggling with her catch, but plans to bring it to market today.

Submitted by Melissa Bell.

BREAKING: Living Dinosaur Spotted in Chicago

The triceratops, a dinosaur from the Cretaceous Period thought to be extinct for at least 65 million years, may be alive and well in Chicago, IL. Numerous residents there claim they’ve seen the dino in an apartment complex.

“Three horns, scaly neck thing – yep, it was definitely a triceratops,” says Maggie Oswald, an area resident who spotted the beast on Monday evening. “It had huge claws and was tearing up the furniture. I’ve never seen a creature behave like that. Truly prehistoric!”

Paleontologists from Chicago University are enroute to the scene.

“We need to get blood samples, check the DNA and monitor its behavior,” says Dr. Randy Sniderman. “We have no idea how this creature could possibly be alive. It’s a real Jurassic Park scenario.”

The Fluffington Post will keep you updated as this story develops.

UPDATE: It’s just a cat in a dinosaur costume. We regret the error.

Captain Pancakes, submitted by Gracie Hagen.