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Dog Embarks on Clandestine Mission to Rescue Bone

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Dog Embarks on Clandestine Mission to Rescue Bone

by Anna Washenko, FluffPo Correspondent

As a member of the canine special forces, Rex is an expert in search and retrieval missions. He was dispatched on his latest assignment last night to rescue the bone that he buried in the neighbor’s yard last fall, according to classified documents obtained by The Fluffington Post. 

“I’ve put all my best resources into protecting my garden, but somehow Rex always sneaks through,” retired Army General Ted Havers, who lives next door, said. “He’s a stealth master, a ghost in the night.”

When asked what he’d do if he should catch his arch nemesis, Havers spoke of the dog with admiration. “Oh, I’d just bring him back to the Walters’ place,” he said. “Rex is a true soldier and I’ve got to respect that.” 

Via Bailey Weaver.

Hedgehog’s New Shoes Are Super Fly

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Hedgehog’s New Shoes Are Super Fly

This has been a good week for Bertie the hedgehog. First, his high school passed out yearbooks on Monday and he was voted “Best Smile.” Then, when he got home on Tuesday, he found a present waiting from his mom and dad as a reward for good grades: a pair of stylish new Chuck Taylor All Stars.

“He looks good in those kicks,” said friend Alissa Decker. “If he’d had those earlier in the year, I bet he’d have cleaned up on all the yearbook superlatives.”

Bertie is set to graduate in a two weeks and will start at Penn State in the fall.

Via Brettjessie.

Local Cat Furious About Game of Thrones Spoilers

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Local Cat Furious About Game of Thrones Spoilers

by Anna Washenko, FluffPo Correspondent

Seattle tabby Reese has been a fan of the epic fantasy saga Game of Thrones since the first season on HBO. However, owner Felicia Marks decided to give up her subscription to the premium channel midway through season two.

“I was only watching the one show, and I just didn’t think it was worth the cost,” she explained. “I figured we’d just wait the year and then buy it on iTunes, no big deal.”

Marks said that Reese became increasingly irritated about not being able to watch the episodes when they aired. The tension in their house reached a head two weeks ago. 

“Reese went on Twitter one Sunday night and saw all these posts about a major character getting killed off,” Marks said. “He just lost it. He started yowling about how inconsiderate people are and that anyone who posts spoilers deserves to be mauled by a White Walker.”

Reese has since decided to read George R.R. Martin’s series and wreak his own terrible vengeance by sharing plot twists from the fifth book.  

Via Pete Markham.